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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

should I give up?

8 replies

tryingtothinkstraight · 13/04/2010 23:25

I am in a newish relationship with someone I really like which is very rare for me. I am normally very careful with my emotions and don't fall in love easily - but I have and just don't know where I stand.

I am seeing someone who has a similar age son to me for the past 3 months. In that time, he has lost his job which is really difficult for him and he is desperately trying to get another one as well as appeal in his view his unfair dismissal.

Things progressed at his instigation quite quickly and we introduced our kids to each other. Now we spend every weekend together and every other weekend when he has his son we spend it at his house.

He has brought me flowers and chocolates and taken me to dinner, bowling etc. It's all been lovely but after I've seen him for the weekend he usually says 'see you soon' and that's it. Because I'm a single parent, if I want to see him in the following week I have to make plans in advance but obviously can't do this. He then texts me on Tuesday or so in the week and quite often its me that suggests the next meeting.

I have said to him that I have thought he wasn't that keen and that I felt I was pursuing him etc to which he has replied he'd be round every night given the chance! But he doesn't suggest it.

Sexually things are good but a couple of times recently he has lost his erection half way through and then regained it which has really bothered him though to me I think it is normal (but not sure?)

I don't know what to think, I keep thinking maybe he isn't interested but he assures me he is. I can't keep saying the same thing and don't know whether to back off totally to see if he comes back to me or assume it is work worries or just what to do...t

OP posts:
tryingtothinkstraight · 13/04/2010 23:28

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OP posts:
Pronoia · 13/04/2010 23:38

Nothing you have said hints at him not wanting to be around you. But let me suggest this ... DON'T suggest another meeting time. Let him suggest it. See how long he waits before doing so. Seems like he's got comfortable with being chased, so back off a bit.

GypsyMoth · 13/04/2010 23:39

i'd leave him to suggest next few dates/meetings etc...

tryingtothinkstraight · 13/04/2010 23:46

thanks he did text me today to tell me the progress of his job search and I replied but I did also say I was looking forward to seeing him soon. That's it now, he will have to suggest when and where from now on. I'm feeling really insecure about this and he knows this.

OP posts:
tryingtothinkstraight · 14/04/2010 19:43

just feeling really depressed about all this, either he has no idea how I feel and just isn't that keen or he knows and is playing a game. Whichever, it is really depressing me.

OP posts:
tryingtothinkstraight · 14/04/2010 20:42

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OP posts:
anothermum92 · 15/04/2010 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SolidGoldBrass · 15/04/2010 17:26

I think it's possible that you are starting to come across as a bit desperate-for-commitment, which can be offputting. You've only been seeing the man for three months after all. Take a step back, let him contact you for a change, get a hobby or something so there is more going on in your life and mind than 'Does he like me? is this The One? How can I make him like me more?' which can make a person into very tedious company for themselves as much as for anything else.

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