Did relate work for you ?

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Hi there !
I'm experiencing some problems with my husband, we have enormous difficulties to communicate, we have been throught a hard time and we are arguing a lot at the moment. Will Relate help ? Than you !

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I don't know the answer but I'm interested to know too

I have started calling around, and they have 50 pounds per session, I dont know if I can afford it yet.

I think they do concessions and discounts if the cost is an issue, not sure how it works tho

We are not poor or under any benefits but just dont have that spare money at the moment.

It worked for me! Don't know how bad your communication problems are in relation to ours - that's what it was for us.

We ended up having only the initial session - it was like a lightbulb moment for both of us to be able to speak without judgement about how we felt.

Whilst things sometimes still slip, we both remember enough of that session to get back on track, and it really really saved us

Best 50 quid I ever spent!

That is good to hear ! We talk to each other but its like we dont speak the same language iykwim ? Plus he has a very low sex drive and me a very high, plus other details, I love him but we need tools to help us I think. I'll spent 50 quids if it was the only once but I'm scared we'll need more, I have got my 2 ds birthday coming up, my little brother's wedding abroad...

The inital appointment is £50, then fees are income based.

Had about 4 months worth with DH following his affair - not sure where we would be now without their help. We had a very good therapist though and this, I understand, can be very hit and miss.

Good luck.

I have tried relate with both my marriages. It failed both times.

The first time was more useful and I think we both got something out of it. Hsd he mentioned the thirty thousand pound credit card debts and pornography, it might have been even more successful. But he didn't I found out about those things much later.

Second time, they shouldn't have even seen us, since there was emotional abuse involved. The relate appointments became another stick to beat me with. ie..."I'm not paying £50 for you to moan about your family."

They shouldn't have taken the money from us when it was very clear that the problems were much more complex than they could possibly deal with.

I have found one ! She seems very nice, got an app for beginning of may. I'm 80 % responsible for the state of my marriage and there is not a day or a night when I dont feel guilty. I have a bad temper, have been diagnosed with depressuin, pmt..etc and dh is quiet, he doesnt talk much..I try to talk to him but it goes nowhere so I explode and it gets nasty.

Didn't work for us as H was being abusive (I didn't realise, I just thought I was wrong all the time).
I came out feeling worse than I went in, and that I needed to change to make things easier for H.
This was despite H shoving me around when I was heavily pregnant, smashing in our house wile drunk etc. Still I felt to blame for causing the problems.
H used to throw the counselling in my face afterwards for years too. 'Nothing changes', 'I've done everything' etc. as though he had proof that everything was my fault.

We are seeing our own therapists (psychotherapy) now and things are improving.

Newname, I'm so sorry your experience didnt go well but it was because your dh was abusive to you...I often get frustrated and it ends up in a big row with screams and tears (me)

Relate have books as well - i think one is specifically about communication. Maybe read it first - they're pretty good books from what I remember - lots on what gets i nthe way of good communication and what to do about it - exercises etc.

Thank you waedigirl ! I'm going to have a look at it !