how do you boost labido

[ThatVikRinA22]

tips please!

been married 19 years. got teens in the house. DH works funny hours as will i soon enough.

its a case of use it or lose it i know. and id like to use it a bit more!

i never "fancied" DH as such, we were best friends that evolved into a relationship, a bit of a slow burner. no rush of blood to the head or butterflies, but its stable, good and solid and i do love him. sex is great when it happens. it just doesnt happen a great deal these days. weve got lazy. id like a bit more and im sure he wouldnt complain.

so how to spice it up a bit?

here relate do sex therepy sessions.

you should see a doctor - make sure its not a medical thing.

go to some counselling.

and most of all explore yourself - alone.

if you're not sure what floats your boat, you can't tell him can you?

such a cliche but a night away from the kids in a hotel (doesn't have to be fancy as long as you're both prepared to have fun). Maybe get a silly strip poker kit, buy some new undies, have some wine. You will be looking at each other with different eyes in no time.

Also, try thinking about sex more, watch sexy movies. Lust after whichever TV star floats your boat. It works!

custy thanks,

but i dont think its as drastic as that.
he never fails to bring me off (at least twice) when it happens. he knows what floats my boat, its just i think after such a long time together weve got a bit complacent. im in danger of never initiating anything and he doesnt - he leaves it to me.

left to me i wait, im always too knackered. the older i get, the more i work, the longer im leaving it. when it happens i really enjoy myself but i seem to forget inbetween times!

also he works the oddest hours imaginable. im going onto shifts soon so i am worried it just wont happen, that one day ill realise we never have sex anymore.

fizzfiend, maybe thats what i need to work on. a few more getaways, with no pressure.

Put a toilet roll in the car, make sure DH has taken his blood pressure/heart pills, go for drive, find secluded spot, put car in 'park' (make sure handbrake is up), put seats down, resist temptation to look out of windows for approaching police cars every 2 seconds, have delicious quickie with you on top (try not to giggle too much or put to your DH's back out), clean up and voila (!) Bob's your uncle.

PS: Watch local community newspapers closely for the next couple of days to see if you got away with it.

Well, our DCs are teens/adults now and they don't stop us! 1. DC1 is at university, but when home on vacation, sleeps for at least 27 hours a day. So no worries there. DC2 has part time job at weekends and being woken up with a lovely massage tends to lead to other benefits! And otherwise, we sometimes make a decision to set our alarms for middle of the night! Yes, time away for just the two of you is lovely and we've done that a few times, but sadly, finances do not allow for it to be a regular thing, though of course DC2 does spend the odd night here and there with mates at all night parties/sleepovers etc.

It may not always be easy, but it is usually fun trying to be creative about the when and where!

talking from my experience, i get stuck in a rut, used to saying no im tired, becomes a pre programmed response. You sound just like me, also slow burner, weve never been as close, always great when we do just dont get the urge anymore. We are ttc so had to get the urge and the first time we tried I just simply put something nice on after a bath, big fleecy pjs, bed socks and dressing gown doesnt get me in the mood so something sexy is a good start. Ive also found talking about saying whats going to happen when he gets home helps. It books it in and gets you thinking all day and great if he requests me to wear something for him coming home. Times when kids are out is great too, gives you time alone, make the most of the opportunity. Also ive found forgetting the foreplay and jumping straight on even if you dont think you are ready is actually quite surprising too! We went from about 5 times a month to 5 times in a week! Been really fun, got the karma sutra out for ideas, even positioned a full length mirror for added fun. DH is obviously enjoying the frequency and the new ideas! As I said weve just started ttc and tbh im not bothered if we arent successful this month as its really great and im quite enojoying it all. TTC gave me a reason to make the effort and now i have I want to do it even after a big meal or before bed when im tired, its given me the kick start i needed, just hope i can keep it up!