Am I overreacting?

[Diamondlover]

DH & I been together 15yrs in total. 2DCs with talk of a third soonish. Before Xmas found out he kissed work colleague after drunken night out. Totally devastated- nearly left & would have if not for the DCs.

Anyway, been an awful few months. This breach of trust rocked our seemingly perfect marriage. Had counselling & things getting better. He was giving nights out a miss for a while too as colleague always out.

Fast forward to tonight. I am away staying at friends with children. I call him after work to find he is off to the pub with work mates. Says ow turned up but he is nowhere near as there are lots of people out. Told him I was nervous about it but he promised to be on best behaviour & not too drunk. Said he would be home about 11.

No word so I rang him at midnight. He was drunk. Got taxi with another married colleague??? WTF She lives nowhere near us as it was easier to share. Says this was all to avoid getting train back with OW.

Does this sound bad- I feel sick.

You'd leave over a drunken snog? I understand you felt hurt, betrayed but people's judgement is inhibited by drink. And he did a stupid thing whilst drunk.

If you are unable to learn to trust him healing your relationship is going to be next to impossible. Calm down tonight and look at the situation afresh tomorrow. Possibly this is sort of situation is something you both need to talk through in your counselling. The issue is not the "OW" but whether he can control himself while drunk and whether you can control your behaviour so you're not overly controlling and paranoid.

Don't let your imagination get the better of you.

Diamondlover was it just a drunken snog or does he feel there was more to it?

I'd be right narked off if dh snogged someone else and he have to be on his best behavior but I'd hope it wouldn't threaten our relationship. TBH it would depend if our marriage was fundamentally happy (which I think it is) or not. Ours is no way "perfect" though and I wonder if yours was either?

All relationships go through ups and downs. If I was you I would chill out. You need to trust him again.