anyone else feel trapped and want out?

[wanttorunaway]

So fed up. Everything is tumbling in around me. Had to confess to family at the weekend that my marriage is a mess and DH can't hold a job down. It all started so well - we've been togeher 7 years and best friends throughout but everything's changed the last 6 months - I can't look at him. Feel I've lost my friend and confidant and if it wasn't for my DD, I'd pack a bag and go. Everytime I arive home my heart sinks.

you sound very depressed.

Any way of getting some space.

What's happened over the last year to make everthing change?

It's not me it's him. He's depressed and very up and down. Just don't know where I stand anymore - whenever I think we're through the worst and start to concentrate on looking to the future, he will drop a bombshell and we're back in the shit. I can't cope with it. I'm pretty optimistic generally and I know it's a dreadful thing to say but it feels like a great big weight bringing us down all the time. I feel extremely paranoid - a boyfriend at university committed suicide. I've never got beyond it and terrified if I say the wrong thing he would do something stupid. Feel as though on eggshells at all times. It's intolerable.

I don't know what's changed the last 6 months but in the three years we've been married, we had two late miscarriages and redundancy while I was pregnant with DD.

Is he being treated for his depression or just expecting you to look after him? Either way, it sounds like you need a break from him (caring for someone with depression is very, very hard.)
It sounds as though he is taking it out on you, as well. Remember that you matter, that your feelings are just as important as he is and that your relationship and family life are not all about managing his moods.
If he's not getting help, tell him he needs to get help or move out. Because you can't be expected to put up with his misery and carry him fulltime indefinitely.

I would suggest that you both consider going to relate as a couple though your dh sounds like he needs help for his depression as well.

Perhaps there you can together explors the late miscarriages, redundancies, suicide fears etc.

I know that relate is probably not a bad option but I feel such a failure. We've only been married 3 years. He is having some help and I'm trying to be supportive but I worry that he thinks all the people he is seeing have it within their power to 'fix' him. I've been at the bottom and I know it has to come from within - you need to get help but only you can pull yourself out of it.