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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how do you get through a rough patch when it is turning into the norm?

1 reply

wanttorunaway · 06/04/2010 12:58

Since I married DH (3 yrs) it feels like we've had more rough patches than good times. Some of this has been bad luck and circumstance but now DH is depressed on top of everything. He is lying about going to work some days and has had significant sick leave due to it. I am trying to be sympathetic and have sought some professional advice for him but it is so draining. His job has become untenable and I expect him to be pulled through a capability process and sacked. This will not be the first time. I am working FT at a demanding job - I would not have gone back to this level of job after having DD (15 months) if I didn't feel so uncertain about DH's future in his job and was worried about the mortgage. As it is I earn significantly more than DH and this further adds to his self esteem problems and no doubt emasculates him. I will stand by him and have told him I will see us right while he leaves his job and does something that would sut him better - he can't even be bothered to consider his options. Meanwhile I am angry and resentful at what I'm missing out on with my DD while I am slogging my guts out to keep us afloat. he doesn't seem to feel any responsibility for us financially and I feel like the mother figure keeping everything going. We had't had sex in months and when I initiated it - it was ok and he seemed more relaxed - then the next day he decided he coudln't handle work and stayed off. I am furious - I don't find him attractive at the moment and don't want to be touched. I can't see a way forward although there must be one. How do you get through this?

OP posts:
wanttorunaway · 06/04/2010 13:08

sorry for length and dullness of OP but could really do with some advice - am at end of my tether...

OP posts:
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