Instincts...have yours ever been really badly wrong?

[saddest]

Some of you know my back story...

I am left with a situation where my instincts are screaming at me that my mother is more involved with my husband leaving than I rationally, and factually know.

He uses her vocabulary, makes the same accusations of me that she has always made.

It's like a rerun of the end of my first marriage, and I now know that she was, and is involved with him.

How does she do this? I know that people can be sucked into cults and the like, but how does one woman manage to suck people in like this.

Someone who has known her for a very long time said that when she first met her thirty odd years ago, she found her to be very overwhelming and charismatic. That she was in awe of my mother. She learnt soon enough that she is not a good person.

Sorry this oesn't feel like it makes any sense. What does this woman want of me? What could her end game possibly be?

I say trust your instincts - is there any easy way to 'prove' what you say you know.

Always trust your instincts. Why is your mother still in your life?

She isn't....but she is in touch with my h. I found some email communication between them which is truly hideous. It says that I must be stopped from destoying any more peoples lives.....amongst other stuff.

Woah Saddest.

That is just plain weird and totally inappropriate of your mother.

I hope you are getting some good counsel?

I would hope that people can see through these manipulative, but charismatic personalities. The fact that your H can't says a lot about his character.

do you have any contact with your mother still?

No None....wish I'd stuck to my guns and not given her a second chance two years ago. I cut her out for good last october.

I was invited to stay with members of my late fathers family over the easter weekend....and I know that she has gone down there today, no doubt to blacken my name there too. Again, instinct. But I bet I'm right.

I would genuinely love to know whetheryour instincts, however weird or seemimgly irrational they may have been, have turned out to be right in the long term.

It would make me feel a bit less freakish if others have had similar feelings about odd situations.

Always trust your instincts with this stuff. Don't go about accusing people of stuff based on instinct because you'll seem foolish, but do let instinct inform your behaviour IYSWIM.

You feel your H is in cahoots with extremely toxic mother, therefore cut all but totally necessary contact with him, keep all communication neutral, do not give her or him any purchase with what you day or do.

My toxic parents have blackened my name to family members with all sorts of lies, and as hard as it is you have to take a deep breath and not respond to it. Do not talk badly of your detractors, only put forward your side when asked.

Sounds to me like your Mum wants to get you back for cutting her out. Toxic parent tantrum time. Do your level best to not give her any attention for it, negative or positive. She'll only thrive on it.

She sounds like a real piece of work, Saddest. You have my sympathies.

"It says that I must be stopped from destoying any more peoples lives."

WTH? Jesus... did they give any details as to how they intended to carry this out??

Bloody hell Saddest, get the farthest away from all of them that you can...

she sounds quite unhinged.

fwiw I trust mine totally - don't always listen to them the first time I hear it, but when the chips are down, and I lay down/sit back in total silence with my eyes closed, and just listen to that inner voice, i hear it and trust it - it's usually the way things work out as well.

women usually have very sharp instincts & intuition. my advice - trust it all the way - don't assume by them thou, mine are 95% always right but I let things play out before admitting I knew all along if that makes sense?