I really need help. My H was kind and loving. He had a lot of anger issues from his childhood and he went to counselling to try and sort this. His behaviour at times could be very erratic and he was diagnosed with a mood disorder/depression. I knew life would never be easy with him but I did love him and he was very loving to me most of the time. At times he could be very abusive but I learned to not react and when they passed he would be very apologetic.
Before the recession we lived a fairly affluent lifestyle. I mention this because it's relevant I think. I began to suspect he may be messing around with other women. Anytime I confronted him he swore on dc's lives that he wasn't and that he adored me. Over time with a lot of detective work I discovered a whole other world of foreign prostitutes. Worse he set up a lot of these women in brothels and was making money from them.
I confronted him and told him to get out of the house or I'd expose him to everyone. He told me I was sick to think him capable of that. He denied everything and said he'd been set up. When I insisted he left he became very violent and in the end the police had to drag him from the house. He's never forgiven me for calling the police and insists that none of the above is true.
I began to question my sanity and thought I'd made him violent by my accusations. The police confirmed that it was true and I also had it confirmed from other sources. Still I could question it and wonder were they all wrong and was it possible he was innocent.
Since I exposed all of this the only way I can describe his behaviour is evil. He has tried to destroy me in so many ways.
I feel so broken that I had children with this man and that my marriage was a lie. I have no family support and have lost most of my support network as he has told they all lies about me. That I was only with him for money type thing and that I threw him out for no reason. I have told no one the truth because I want to protect the children.
He takes the children when it suits him and spoils them rotton. They get everything you could imagine which is the opposite to how I wanted them raised. I am struggling to make ends meet. He won't have them overnight or help in any practical way. He will only take them for a few hours to do fun stuff. The children think he's great.
I feel I am getting worse and worse. I do not want my children in his world but what can I do. I feel huge grief about everything. I don't want revenge but lately I really want to expose him. He now wants to take the children on holiday with his sister and I am really tempted to tell her everything. I hate leaving them go but is it right to punish them or him for his lifestyle?
I am sorry this is so long. I don't know how I'm ever going to recover from this. How will I ever get over the sadness and betrayal. I am constantly physically sick over all this. He is still involved in prostitution. Help