God feel so bad for dsD - How can a mother do this?

[TheEasterSpade]

DSD see's her mum very reluctantly every fortnight - well I say "every" but half the time the woman texts to say she's:

ill
has no money
got up late

etc etc ... you get the picture!

Anyway, DH text her yesterday to "remind" her to turn up and to remember to buy their DD an easter egg like she should need reminding.

Anyway, she text back saying she hadn't had "dole money" for 2 weeks and therefore he would have to give the girl money for busfares and to buy her own dinner

So he did.

Anyway, she went at 11am and came back at 2.30pm almost in tears.

This stupid woman had took DSD into town, thrown a massive tantrum in the middle of the shop because DSD wouldn't buy HER a fecking egg ... she had a massive tantrum because DSD refused to buy her an "easter treat" and had the cheek to say that her father was "tight" as he'd only given her enough money for DSD's lunch, not hers too!!!!

I'm absolutely fucking fuming. DSD was telling me this with tears in her eyes. All day the stupid bitch had been hassling the girl for money and she didn't even have the decency to buy her an easter egg/

thats horrible

they are available for a pound....how can she be so nasty

does dsd enjoy seeing her mum? guessing contact will fizzle out any time soon

disgusting really. Why does the poor girl keep going back to see her if she is reluctant to go?

does she HAVE to go and see this selfish waste of space at all?!?

poor girl

some people defy belief.

still, at least she has you. Does she have to see this awful bint at all? does she want to?

As a stepdaughter and daughter of a selfish mum, the best thing you can do for her is to give her an awesome fun Easter day so good she'll hopefully totally forget about her rubbish mum.

What a shame. You and DH are just going to have to give her a brilliant Easter to try and make up for it.

How old is your DSD? Does she still want to see her Mum or does she just do it out a sense of duty?

I think you need to have a chat with dsd and ask her what she wants to do.

I'm assuming dsd is in her teens?

Well DH turned around tome this morning and said

"well, if she has no money, what IS she supposed to do?" it's beyond fucking belief ... he just sticks up for her every time ..

It also turned out that the mother's boyfriend was calling her ugly ... DH reacted by saying " that doesn't suprise me" its like he's frightened to fucking death of is ex and sod what his faughter feels

Hang on, the waste of space mums BF was calling your DSD ugly??? Or have I missed something? If that is the case, your DH needs to grow a pair and start protecting his daughter! [shocked]

Shame on that mum. Shame.

errr

yes and all Dh can say is "well ... I don't like confrontation ... "

Holy shit! That is horrid, your poor DSD. I don't know what to say. I mean isn't your parter livid about this? It is sooooo damaging for your DSD to hear that!

At least she has got you in her corner.

So his feelings are more important than his childs???
Weak.....

He says he's "livid" but he also says "what can I do?"

Im fuming, we've just had a massive row about it and he's stormed off as usual saying if I'm not happy here, I can move out

He can go round there and give them both a verbal kicking!

Thank goodness dsd has you TES to let her know her mother's behaviour isnt right. How old is dsd btw?

Blimey! Does he often tell you to move out when you row? I could not and would not have that hanging over me. My DH said something similar when we were having an almighty row. So I packed my things and tried to leave. It scared the bejesus out of him. Never said anything like it since.

Has DSD said she would like to cease contact at all?

Does DSD want to see her mother? If she's not keen and is old enough to make her wishes known, it sounds like cutting contact might be the best idea.

The rubbish mum sounds like a drug addict to me.

Sorry.

Is it actually safe for your DsD to be in her company? Is there court orders?

I know kids want contact (to be loved) by their parents no matter how negative their parents treatment of them is, but shouldn't this woman show that she desrves such contact rather than this girl just being an available soul to vent on?

Sorry, that does sound a bit harsh. The woman sounds like she may have serious issues that may require more serious attention by your DH and yourself.

If the mother's boyfriend is calling her ugly to her face, what else is he capable of???

tbh I did think drugs when I read your op. This is just an awful situation. Feel so much for your dsd but as everyone else has said, at least she has you in her corner.