Rubbish thread writer needs help!

[cantwritethreadstosavemylife]

As my name would suggest I'm not very good as this so please be patient!

I have been with P for 9 years,we have 3 DCs, I have been unhappy for a while now but despite my best efforts none of our problems have been resolved and things are actually just steadily geting worse and worse.

I have decided that it is now well and truly over between us, we hardly talk and tbh i can barely tolerate him, i do my best to keep things civil for the sake of my children.

I will have to leave our home, my job and the city we currently live in as I cannot afford to stay here and support my children on my own. I don't really care about any of those things - my DCs happiness is more important and I think the positives will outweigh the negatives in the long run.

But for some reason I feel absolutely terrified at the thought of giving up my job and claiming benefits until I am able to get sorted out. Has anyone else been in this position? Can you advise? Did you find it easy/difficult to return to work?

As I said, I'm not great at writing threads plus my head is all over the place at the moment so please tell me if you need anything clarified and I will do my best.

Thank you x

Sorry no advice, but hopefully someone will help soon. It sounds a bit overwhelming. Are you sure this is the right time or there is no easier solution in the short term?

It's def the right time as I can't take any more, I've tried staying here and just sort of "sharing" the house with him but since he lost his job at the end of last year we probably won't be able to afford to keep it for much longer

Lots of mental preparaion needed I reckon, to keep focused and strong. Try not to plan too much in advance and believe that things will work out, which they will. One door closes and all that. If you look after one day at a time the future will sort itself out. Short term goals that you can tick off one at a time will keep you focused.

Thank you

Where would you go? Back to home town near family/friends? Do you have backup cash to get you through?

Yes back to my home town, I don't really have any savings but I reckon I could work a few more months (I would have to work notice period anyway) and this would give me some cash for moving costs etc

also family would help me out

Ideally I would have a job and somewhere to live sorted prior to moving there but there are very few jobs - i've been looking for ages, and with 3 DC under 5 it's near impossible to travel back and forward for interviews etc

I was thinking about it and I think the real issue for me concerning work is that i know its unlikely that i will ever get a comparable job in my home town or even the surrounding areas but maybe i could move again in the future when i feel stronger? i know that just now i need some family support and help with the DCs - as right now i feel exhausted

Go for it!

By the way, you can write posts! Very well actually.

There's another similar thread going on here at the mo, have you seen it?