Getting married in 8 days....

[cluckyduck]

... And my DP has tonight, out of the blue compared me (unfavourably) to his ex.

Should I be worried?

What did he say? Was it 'meant'? Odd... or nasty.

Yes.

He said that people often comment what a 'nicer' person he was when he was with her. I think he meant it, yes.

was it accidental ?( lets face it most people have done this at some point).
do you think you need to be worried? , any alarm bells going off? if no, then ignore.if yes then run!

ouch! yes i would worry

Cheeky tw*t!

Were you arguing at the time?
Do you think he's getting cold feet?

What did you say? Was it a silly sort of slip of the tongue... did he say anything afterwards? If he said it, knew what he was saying, and meant it... well... what did he hope to achieve by saying it? You say out of the blue so presume there was no surrounding arguement... blimey, what a twat.

Not sure how that's a reflection on you... Sounds more like one on him, frankly. I think I'd ask him if he thought it was ok to be not so nice when with you!

thats issues with him, not you.
perhaps he was "nicer" then. is he a shit twat bit unsensitive or selfish now?.

Weird, very weird. I think you have got to ask him what he meant. I'm not sure how or why you would say something like that, unless you were intending to wound.

But I don't know the context, what came before or after etc, so can't really comment with any confidence.

i sort of get the feeling you think he`s blaming you,for himself not been seen as nice.
Has anyone else said this to you, or just your dp?

No it wasn't an argument, just sort of came out in a round about way. It wasn't said with spite either.

It was said by his colleagues apparently.

I think you are right, it's probably a reflection of him. I'll ask him what he meant by it

Thank you

could it be he had more time for them when he waswith ex whereas now he less time for them as he would rather be with you

Weirder and weirder. So now he wants you to think that all his 'colleagues' don't rate you? That's how I would interpret that if said to me. Insensitive and stupid. I think you really have to try and clear this one up.

this just doesnt sit right with me,tbh.
has he ever said anything else to make you feel a bit ?

What's he trying to do??? Even if someone did say that, which I doubt, why would he tell you? A nice man would have defended you and spared your feelings. Has he got cold feet as someone else said? That's horrible, at a time when you should be excited and happy, you're now having to second guess him

His colleagues sound like arseholes.

I would never say that to a colleague.

this rings alarm bells for me.

Why would anyone be rude enough to say that to your DP?

Why would he not call them out on it?

Why on Gods earth did he flaming mention it to you? Prat! Ok perhaps that is just prattish bloke stuff, but even so....

how are things in your relationship otherwise?

OP - I'm not sure if you should be worried. I had someone say to me that they liked me better when I was with my exbf than with the man who is now dh. I was nicer and less outspoken apparently. My ex made me feel very insecure and I was constantly walking on egg shells trying to change myself to fit with what he wanted. With my now dh I felt for the first time that I was fine just being me and that made me more confident and probably less timid, less eager to please and more likely to stand up for myself and she didn't like it.
Perhaps your fiance is just more "himself" now that he is with you than he was with his ex. It doesn't mean that he is a bad guy, only that his colleague may not be able to interact (or manipulate him?) the way he used to? Maybe he feels threatened by your fiance's confidence and happiness?

HTH