Advice needed - DH wants a son

[msharp]

Hi all,

I'm a full time mum with two little girls ages 3 and 1. I love them more than anything but, to be honest, two kids is enough for me! Especially since I'm the one at home all the time with them since my DH works crazy hours and has a long commute.

I've recently discovered that the reason he was so eager to try for baby number 2 - he desperately wants a son! I know he loves our girls but how many more babies can he expect us to have, in the hope of a boy? He says he just wants to try one more time but if it's another girl I wouldn't be surprised to be back in this position again.

He's really putting pressure on me to try again, guilting me, begging, you name it! What do I do???

mary

Daisy, of course there will be families with all the same gender. That's how statistics/chance work. If the chance remains close to 50/50 then the following sets...

girl girl girl girl girl girl
boy boy boy boy boy boy
girl boy boy boy boy boy
boy girl girl girl girl girl
boy girl boy girl boy girl
boy girl girl girl boy boy

... all have a similar chance of happening. It's just some seem more interesting/coincidental/random/predestined than others.

I do sometimes wonder if there are other factors at play. Like if you have a long period, your opportunity to have sex is closer to ovulation so you're more likely to have a series of boys for example (sex close to ovulation more likely to result in a male baby). Maybe there's other reasons for gender sets but in general and all things being equal, it's pretty even.

Can you suggest that it might be nicer to have another baby once the current one starts school? You'd be like a first time mum again but without the inexperience, time to enjoy the baby without a toddler hanging around. I only had a 3.5yr age gap after a 20m one and it's been bliss! Perhaps your DH would settle for a 'promise to think about it' in a couple of years time if he could see the benefits of an age gap.

The statistics aren't tailored to an individual. They are across the board likelihoods of x many families having a boy after 2 girls/3 girls/4 girls. That is averaged out.

Obviously if you take ONE individual, she may be more likely to have a vaginal environment which favours boy sperm OR girl sperm. Bit of a myth that it's only the sperm which determines the sex. Ultimately yes, but the journey can be harsher or easier from vagina to vagina! lol

My SIL is one of seven. Her father referrred to her and her five sisters a s 'duds' He was only happy when he finally got a boy the seventh time around. Nice.

Wow. I bet he was disappointed by that boy when he grew up. He sounds the sort that would be disappointed by somebody much better than himself.

Is he chanelling Henry VIII?

not as simple as his sperm determining gender. at certain times the womb wall has different ph which influence the ability of the sperm to reach the egg. it's complex.

there was an article in new scientist that says you improve your chances of having a boy if you eat breakfast.

i'm in your situation although my dh isn't pressuring me. or at least he was until i said that the more he pressures me the less i want to. so he stopped.

now my dd's are 4 and 19 mo and i wouldn't mind having another, but i've insisted that if i do he HAS to have a vasectomy. that's the deal. he's agreed so at least i feel it's on my terms too.

Well, while you're undecided, do make sure you're on the pill/depo/implant, eh?