I don't think I love my DP anymore.
I've lost a lot of respect for him recently over some major decisions[or non decisions in his case] in our lives.
We have a fairly common type of relationship in that as a SAHM and a woman I organise most of our lives- holidays, decorating, diy, bills, activities, visits, moving house, food, clothes......I am so tired of having to chivvy him to take any action independently.
He works. He does his sport activity two evenings a week. Other than that he comes home, if he is early enough he puts the children to bed, not putting any clothes away,reluctant to give them a bath, never thinking to wash hair [for instance]. He listens to the radio and I watch tv in another room. When we had the space he would go to his study.
Here I should say that we don't have sex and that is because I don't want it. I have felt that way for years and have accepted it is part of my personality. We have been through a lot of stages with this-therapy, anger, blame, guilt and for the last few years it seems acceptance on his part. I often feel though that he does not deserve this life and I should make the decision to split partly for him to be able to have the fuller sex life he wants.
We barely talk. It used to be lonely but we did have times we communicated.
Now I just can't be bothered and I think the love that held us together despite everything has gone from my side.
I am not even sure I want a response just writing it out has helped to release pent up feelings.