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Relationships

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What relationship?

2 replies

PretentiousMoi · 29/03/2010 19:05

I don't think I love my DP anymore.
I've lost a lot of respect for him recently over some major decisions[or non decisions in his case] in our lives.
We have a fairly common type of relationship in that as a SAHM and a woman I organise most of our lives- holidays, decorating, diy, bills, activities, visits, moving house, food, clothes......I am so tired of having to chivvy him to take any action independently.
He works. He does his sport activity two evenings a week. Other than that he comes home, if he is early enough he puts the children to bed, not putting any clothes away,reluctant to give them a bath, never thinking to wash hair [for instance]. He listens to the radio and I watch tv in another room. When we had the space he would go to his study.
Here I should say that we don't have sex and that is because I don't want it. I have felt that way for years and have accepted it is part of my personality. We have been through a lot of stages with this-therapy, anger, blame, guilt and for the last few years it seems acceptance on his part. I often feel though that he does not deserve this life and I should make the decision to split partly for him to be able to have the fuller sex life he wants.
We barely talk. It used to be lonely but we did have times we communicated.
Now I just can't be bothered and I think the love that held us together despite everything has gone from my side.
I am not even sure I want a response just writing it out has helped to release pent up feelings.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 29/03/2010 19:34

It does sound as though it is over. I think it is a point of no return, when you realise the love has gone.

I sympathise. It will be hard to end it but I think it is the right thing to do - you are right that it is not fair on him OR you to stay in a relationship where there is no love. I hope you can both move on and find the right person. Good luck.

VictoriasLittleKnownSecret · 29/03/2010 19:54

I lost respect for my ex (bad business decisions and other stuff)
I took the role of mother and did everything for him. He came in and ignored everyone in the house. We were just a hotel.
I felt very guilty for my lack of feeling towards him but our sex life also dwindled. It seemed a symbol of my life where I provided but got nothing back tbh!

I tried talking about this and we spent about 7 yrs fighting to save the marriage.

We split last year and I wish I'd done it sooner.

It is hard though and there will be times when you wish you hadn't.

If I could fix it I would have. To anyone thinking of splitting I'd say explore all possibilities and then when you have and it's still bad.....walk away and be good to each other in the process.

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