Sexual 'Mental' Stimulation

[AmIBeingUptight]

I'm questioning myself here? Am I being uptight, a bit of a sulker? Tell it to me ladies.
DH who is a fun guy, loving guy can get a little stressed, it is in his nature to over analysise situations and conversations at work and obsesses. I've spent the last 3 years in particular trying to get him to relax about this.
Anyway, recently (historic repatition), he's gotten a little over sensitive about a comment someone made at work and has been going on and on. The stress has made him snappy, short, abrupt, very, very rude (all historic and normal for him), it does my head in and I cannot reason with him when he's in this dark mood.
Eventually the cloud lifts and in an instant he's all lovey dovey, horney etc and can't keep his hands off me, however I don't want him near me.
He makes me feel like a frigid old maiden when I resist his attempts at sex, I get pushed into explaining that I don't feel sexually responsive because he's been an utter wanker to me for a fortnight and I just can't switch on the passion because 'he's' okay now, at which point I usually get accused of being sulky, bearing a grudge etc and makes the atmosphere uncomfortable until I feign forgiveness and we have sex.
Am I in the wrong?

Horrid situation for you! I'd accept being told I was sulky rather than have sex with someone like that! He is being unreasonable and I am shocked at it lasting a fortnight

What was the comment someone made at work?

Know exactly what you mean.

By now, dh knows that it takes two to tango and he must sweet talk and woo me for a while for us to be able to ahve a good shag.

Making you feel frigid -blaming you - is not going to do him or you any favours.

Think you need to really tell him what's bothering you. If you're still in a mood you can't move on. So, get it off your chest.

Hope this helps. For once, I'm in the doghouse (so to speak) as I've been a moody cow to him and he wouldn't want me to snap at him.It's often the other way around.

HellBen, he's 6 weeks into a new job as a Manager. Another Manager of equal level took it upon herself to have a 'quiet' word with DH, a colleague (allegedly) had commented that in a recent meeting DH was patronising.
That's it! That's all!
He'd already ascertained week 1 that this lady comes accross as a bit of a know it all and self oppoiniated, a name dropper. Anyone like that you'd take any comments with a 'huge' pinch of salt yeah?
Not my DH.

Blimey. You've got your work cut out.

Have you looked at this another way though OP and wondered whether the female peer manager may have actually had a point - and your DH was patronising in a meeting? And that the reason he has been stewing about it is because deep down he thinks she's right, but perhaps cannot bear any feedback, particularly from a woman?

Given the way he's treating you, that's the way my mind would work.

I think you are entirely normal and that he is just being a nob end.

Mine does this. i ignore him until he goes away. It is now explicit in our relationship that we work on a points system, and being a twat costs lots of making cups of tea, hoovering, and general sucking up. Then I'll let him kiss me, and if he does that right, we are back on

I think you are quite right. If someone has been a bit of a cock, then they have to work themselves back into good books. Sexual feelings don't just switch on like that, just because someone else's mood turns round.
And pressure to have sex is just bullying. I can never see the fun in having sex with someone who is only "letting" you. How unsexy.

Nope, most women tend to need to feel that emotional connection to find someone attractive (or at the very least not feel attacked etc by that person) whereas men can more often separate sex from emotional feelings and will see it as a totally separate thing.

Some people also use sex for stress relief which can be difficult for a partner who wants to experience sex without pressure to perform as a loving mutual act. Not saying this is your DH but it might be. My XP definitely used to use sex as a stress release and seemed to think it was my "duty" to help him out with this which was not exactly a turn on!