Alternate motives for staying with DH. Feeling guilty

[TheGuineaHole]

DH and I have not been happy for years. However, whilst he's quite happy to plod along and stay together for convienience, I'm not.

I've been looking for a way out for a few months now. DH thinks we're all fine and dandy. I was happy for him to think that for a while to make the house a more peaceful place.

However, I soon learnt that I was stuck here. Without a job of my own, I can't rent anywhere. So I searched endlessly for jobs but nobody will touch me with a bargepole. I have no qualifications OR experience.

But I thought I'd "keep looking" and something will come up eventually. But really, it won't, will it?

Then last week something wierd happened to me and I decided I wanted to be a nurse. Within 24 hours I had registered on a course with the college, contacted university and arranged voluntary work at the hospital. We're all very excited, light at the end of the tunnel ... seems we won't have to scrape by on minimum wage forever.

But I'm left with the dilema of knowing I don't actually intend to stay here forever. I'm stuck here for four years at least, I have to be to get through my nurse training but once I'm earning a wage, I think I'll leave DH.

So in other words, I'm stringing him along for 4 years arnt I?

I'm not that type of person, really I'm not but I just don't know what to do.

DH is sat there saying "oh just think, 5 years from now we'll be able to afford a decent house, we'll be able to go on holiday, I can get a new car ... " and I sit there agreeing with him knowing full well that he won't really benefit much from my career.

I'm not just doing it for me, I'm doing it for the kids too. I'm just so confused though because I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself but at the same time, I can't see another option.

Guniea, I have just skimmed this thread but you don't have to stay with DH because you are returning to education, as a mature student myself I know that the funding you can get is enough to get by, and as a single parent you would also get additional funding including a maintenance grant that you don't have to re pay. As you are studying an NHS course they will not only pay your fees (reducing your debt when you finish uni) but you will get a bursary from the NHS. Also a lot of universities have on site childcare assuming your DC's are not of school age. Contact student finance to see what your entitlement is.
A Mature student I know on an NHS course (with no children) is getting three payments of £4000 a year. Only you can decide if leaving your DH is the right thing for you at this moment in time but get all the information you can before making a decision. hope this helped.

Good luck