Single parent for 6 months now - sometimes feel so sad...

[onestepforward]

Guess I just want to know I am not alone in feeling like this. 'Perfect' dh 'fell out of love' with me when DD was 6 weeks when we were apart for 3 weeks (we lived overseas and I visited home) and he was released from the druggery and sleeplessness of having a small baby and got to enjoy nights out with younger colleagues and their mostly younger female friends. Very unspecific about reasons for all of this but am guessing head was turned somewhere.

Anyway we moved back to the UK and split up after a year of moodiness and misery from my dh. Sometimes I feel like I have got a part of myself back and feel really positive then sometimes I feel sick to my stomach that I have lost what we once had and my future is not the rosy one I had imagined. I cannot imagine meeting someone else as it would feel all 'wrong' and that is depressing. Guess I am asking if this is normal!

Also can feel very alone when dd is at her dads for the weekend yet sometimes feel something like freedom to do things for myself so then feel guilty.

Sorry maybe should move this to lone parents at not actually in a relationship!?

No- keep it here. you'll get more responses!I know exactly what you mean but I wasn't married so had less to loose. Try and focus on you and your kids and another, better man will come your way.
Men can be such bastards sometimes. Fickle creatures.

I think what you feel you have lost is your image of waht a happy married life / family is and it takes time to grieve over our dreams and aspirations..

You can still ahve a happy family life even though you are no longer married to your dd's dad.

Please dont feel guilty about having a sense of freedom - i bet your ex doesnt feel guilty for the 5 days he is not with your DD!

easier said then done i know, but try to enjoy the time you have to do something for you, and try to have friends over if you feel lonely. And use this time to try dating again! It is early days but it wont feel wrong when you meet a man you really like.

Sounds like your Dh just wants the single life and not the realities of family life - remember it is his loss and not yours.

I know, it's so true I am definitely grieving for my dreams/aspirations as we never did have what I imagined we would have. We both so wanted a baby and had IVF to achieve it which somehow makes it worse. I sometimes get sad when I see my friends children with their dads but we never actually had that happiness so I shouldn't feel worse that we have split as a house with us ignoring/sniping at each other would not be preferable to dd spending time with each of us on our own. Is hard though

What you are feeling is absolutely normal. Mixed emotions whilst you are still in a very unsettled period.

Try to plan things when your DD is with her father, not always easy I know but it will make you feel better. Guilt is a futile emotion. You can't do anything about it when your DD is away so no need to feel guilty, try embracing the time you have and be glad you are allowing her time with her father.

It is hard, but it does get better.

I know how you feel onestep, its very hard when you see other families.

I'm also newly lone parent - 5 months now and still dont like having to tell people we are seperated - even though I am glad about it!

I sometimes feel bad for DD that we are not the standard family unit but i know in the long run we are better this way.

dont think there is anything anyone can say to make you feel better, know what you mean though one minute you feel like everythings happened for the best and your much better on your own. then that horrible feeling of emptyness and like someone is actually twisting your heart apart, going through the same feelings myself, just think one day you will wake up and feel more positive about things, dont know how long these things take though, sorry dont have any words of wisdom for you but some people on here are very good with advice and can take your mind off feeling crap for a while. just remember your not on your own.

Thanks ladies, I suspected these feelings were normal but is nice to know I am not alone with them! It is already getting easier day by day as a few months ago I would wake up with instant sick 'oh no here we are on our own how did this happen' feelings and they are fading. Off to bed now (though wish I could start to use the whole bed rather than still keeping to 'my side' )

good night onestep.

I know what you mean - I have a king sized bed but still sleep on one side!

try putting the pillows in the middle!