What is involved with Legal Separation??

[PrettyFeckinVacant]

Just looking for some advise from others who may have been here.

Have been married for 16 years but come (almost definitely) to the end of the road. H works away Mon to Fri and then comes home. There are 3 dc and they adore him as he does them.

We are happy for the current situation to carry on but I am rearranging the bedrooms so that me and h get separate rooms.

Is there alot of hassle involved with a legal separation?

Will I need a solicitor?

Will it cost much?

Are there legal advantages?

I know that I could visit our local CAB but I have been before about my rights during h's affair and they just looked on the computer and printed out lots of stuff for me to read - Quite honestly, I could have done that! I wanted someone to talk to.

We only decided to separate this morning and I am not sure what to do (he has left now for the week again).

Any advise welcome

Doh - Advice obviously!!

You don't need any legal document to separate in the UK. Living apart is enough. You can even continue to live in the same house provided you don't eat or sleep together and don't do domestic chores for each other.

You can record anything you agree about money, property and children in a deed of separation, but there is no requirement to do this. If the deed is drawn up correctly it can be enforced if one of you fails to keep to it. It is usually recommended that you and your partner each get independent legal advice and that the deed is drawn up by a solicitor. Note that the deed is not automatically binding on the divorce courts. However, if you were both given proper advice by solicitors and were honest about your financial position, the courts are unlikely to interfere unless changes in circumstances mean the original deed is unfair.

Just to emphasise, there is no requirement to get a deed of separation. You only need it if you want to sort out finances, contact arrangements, etc. at this stage and record it legally. If you do it will be one less thing to worry about at the time of divorce and should reduce the cost of the divorce a little. As to how much it will cost, that really depends on how much you argue with each other through your solicitors.

There is also a thing called a judicial separation. This is fairly rare these days and follows the same process as a divorce, the main difference being that you cannot marry someone else after a judicial separation. Also, unlike a divorce, you can't get a clean break financial settlement. A judicial separation is not a stepping stone to divorce. It doesn't stop you from divorcing later but, if you are going to divorce, a judicial separation will simply increase your costs. I would not recommend going down that route.

Wow - that is lots of information - thanks so much for posting prh47.

Maybe for the time being, we will just try living separately, with h coming home for the weekends, and think about seeing a solicitor sometime soon.

I also worry about the dc. I feel we have been in limbo for a long time and, even though the dc wont be happy about our decision - for me it is something definite. I might even stop being such a miserable mummy.