Update - I am finally moving out, yippee!

[lilac21]

It all started here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/677920-How-miserable-do-you-have-to-be-to-break-up

I eventually got 200k out of him after mediation in August, offered on a house only a week later, since then it has taken over SIX MONTHS but we finally exchanged contracts yesterday, for completion on 9th April. I am so relieved that I eventually got the house I wanted, although I had given up on it and found a place to rent. I am absolutely delighted though, not just pleased, that my new life can finally start, a happy home for me and the DC with no miserable, attention-seeking man and daily reminders that the marriage is long over but life hasn't substantially changed. I can't wait

Well done.

At the time it seems neverending but once the legal/financial stuff is over you can start your new life. The relief is so great and the whole world seems interesting again.

Here's to your new adventure. Remember keep your old friends but look forward to making some new ones too.

All the best.

brilliant! Good for you! Wishing you all the very best!

Hurrah! lilac I remember you well and you were very kind to me last year on my threads. You said then that you were jealous that I had moved out and you still had a way to go. Well, now it's the other way round It'll be a few months yet while I get stuff sorted... but I am SO pleased for you. Really, way to go. You deserve a peaceful home - we all do. Aww, I really am pleased for you
xx

Well done and good luck to you. I can't wait to get to where you are and start my new life.

Oh yes yes YES! Lilac well done! I have read quite a few of your threads and I am very glad for you that you have got out of this ghastly situation.

That's one heck of a settlement!! Is he a millionaire or something?

I am looking forward to that day myself, what a huge relief it must be. Best of luck.

Well done getting this far - you muct feel so relieved, like a weight is lifting.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life

Good Luck

Well done!

Good luck with everything, glad things are moving on for you now!

HI I've just read your first thread - the one you put a link to at the top - and it is just amazing how life can turn out. I too am hoping for the defining moment when I can say my marriage is over as I'm not particularly unhappy with my H just confused as to how I feel about him and what I want. Your posts haven given me hope that it will all work itself out. Thank you xxx

Oooh I am so pleased for you Lilac!

Well done for keeping at it (leaving that is), it is so worthwhile, you and the dcs will be so much happier.

OP, good luck. You deserve happiness. I love hearing success stories.

templemaiden, that £200k isn't even all of it! It represents about half of my share of the equity in the house, and ignores all of the savings, shares, pension etc that I could claim a share of. Despite receiving that amount, I have still had to top it up with a £150k mortgage just to buy a 3 bed semi.

He is going to be so cross when we get to the divorce court and he has to hand over the rest, and the day I move out the CSA will be opening up a file for us and the 20% of net income will make him even crosser! He conveniently ignores the fact that he is providing for HIS children and begrudges giving it to me.

This time last year I might have taken the £200k and just been grateful to get away from him. However, I feel much less inclined to do so now, having put up with all sorts of crap while he blamed me for the marriage ending and made life as difficult as possible for me. It took six weeks just to get him to agree to move into the spare room, even though his home office was already in that room and it has an ensuite.

For me, 2010 starts on 9th April!