Obviously I've name changed.
We've been together 3 years, have a toddler and a baby and we're generally happy. We both have tempers so there are rows (never anything violent and we always kiss and make up within minutes). I'm 24 and he's 29.
In the past DH has lied about a few things and when I have confronted him he has continued to lie and then eventually buckled and accepted that I know but never given details.
For example, I hate smoking due to bereavements of close family members. He knows this, swears he doesn't smoke, has even sworn on our kids lives, etc, but he does smoke. His sleeves smell of it, he smells of it, and everytime he takes it up he runs upstairs for one reason or another when he gets in from work (to get showered and changed asap) and chews gum. He thinks I'm stupid and when I confront him he lies to my face and then eventually caves.
However, there are BIGGER lies, such as:
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We hardly ever get a night out (alone or together) as we're skint and we have the kids and work a lot. We do kind of live in each other's pockets. Well I just found pictures on facebook of him at some girl's 21st birthday party. Ok so it was a year ago, but I didn't know he'd gone- so why didn't he tell me? I'd bought him the jumper he's wearing in the pictures for a night out with his mates and he only wore it the once. We know everything about each other so therefore he will have lied to me about who he was out with and where he was going. He will have lied before he went, lied in txts or phone calls whilst he was out, etc. Why? The girl who's party it was had added him on facebook a while ago and he had declined the friend request, even though he regularly talks about her- they work together.
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He didn't want me to go to a christening with his friends. He was godfather. I had just had our first DS. I bought the baby presents and got myself a new outfit and my hair done. I was under the impression he wanted me there. Then on the morning he started freaking out, getting angry, etc. It was all very strange and in the end he said he wasn't going. I said he could just go alone if he wanted as that seemed to be what he was pushing for. He said he'd just show his face at the church and be home within an hour. He came home 12 hours later, very drunk. It was our DS's christening the following week and a girl my age who i didn't know turned up with the couple from the previous christening. I got chatting to her and she was going on about how she knew my DH really well. She then started talking about the fantastic night out they'd had after the christening the previous week and there seems to have only been a few people there- all of which were coupled off apart from DH and her. He looked uneasy when I was talking to her and he kept away. We had a huge row that night and I often threw it in his face in arguments after that. He made an effort to change and it was a pivotal point in our relationship.
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He was talking to other girls on a social networking site when we first got together. I found this out a year ago when I found his page and it said when he had last logged in- a few days before. He had used that site for dirty talk with girls in our small town who he knew before we got together and his sister had mentioned him doing it a few months later. It all clicked into place in my head and I realised he had been talking to these girls well after we got engaged- and I would have been pregnant with first DS. When I confronted him he said he had only gone on a few days before to try to delete the page but didn't know how (yeah right). He then supposedly did delete it. That was 2 years into our relationship.
There are other lies and I'm feeling quite uneasy. I feel like I don't know him and he doesn't communicate half as well with me anymore. He's quite often ratty with me and I'm worried there's something not right.
He was a real player in the past and has been with a ridiculous amount of women and is quite well known in town- everyone his/our age range likes him. Especially women.
Sooo... am I being paranoid? Sorry this is so long.