I was just thinking I've spent way too long in this forum today (again) but wish I could read ALL the threads! Then I thought, heh, I'd love to just post replies based on the titles. Then I thought: That's what trolls do, innit?
So - with apologies to the OPs -
(If it doesn't hurt people's feelings, I'd love to see some more one-liners!)
"am i just being selfish" - Probably not, but you may have to compromise a bit.
"14 years" - Ooh, that's longer than most marriages last.
"OK - so what do you think about this - am I being a complete doormat here" - Yes, you are! He should compromise a bit.
"More advice please" - I'm so sorry this isn't working out for you. Eat spinach, it'll make you strong enough to kick him out.
"A question for Dittany" - I can't answer it, but am dying to see Dittany's reply
"Any suggestions on how to 'manage' my mother" - Treat her just as you would treat any other middle-aged woman. Next!
"Lying Husband - am I kidding myself to think he'll change?" - Yes. Next!
"Am I totally spineless (& naive)??" - Probably. You may have to compromise a bit.
"How can I help from a distance?" - Skype.
"Help me help my friend" - You cannot make a blind wo/man see. But try to validate her experiences.
"i have had enough....." - About time, too! Well done.
"controlling over money.." - Many people confuse money with love. You may have to compromise a bit (or kick him out.)
"Is my marriage over?" - Probably. Sorry. Have a stiff drink and a large Galaxy.
"How do you accept that you won't get an answer to all your questions when you split?" - There is no such thing as 'closure', unless you're talking about the plastic wire you twist round a sandwich bag. Have a stiff drink and a large Galaxy, then take up a hobby.
"Husband has told me about a temptation..." - You sound rather insecure. Have an aromatherapy massage, then sign up for a confidence course.