hi i am a mum to 2 children and i have been with my partner for 3 years.
in the begining of 2007 i walked out on a 13 year marriage, i took the children with me, my marriage had broken down a couple of years before and it took me a long time to pluck up the courage to leave, the marriage ended as our reletionship was nothing, the only thing we had in common were the children we never spoke to each other or did anything together unless it was to do with the children, although i had never drank before, in the last year of my marriage i starting drinking really heavily thinking this would stop the pain(i now no it didnt work).
upon leaving the marriage i quickly became involved with my partner, we have been together for 3 years, he had been treated badly by his ex and i was at my lowest point that i think we sort comfort in each other, as i say its now 3 years later and i just dont no what to do, my partner is so kind and caring and is fantastic with the children but something just doesnt feel right any more it feels like history is repeating itself
i had got married at 17 after having my ds, at the time i loved my babys dad and wanted to marry him but now i no i went through with it as it was the right thing to do, the marriage was ok to start with but as we grew up we grew apart without realising until it got to the point of no return the relationship ending really horrible.
my problem is now although me and my partner love each other to pieces i feel we are going the same way, he works really hard to provide for our family and i no he needs some space and time to chill out in the evenings, but its like he comes home has his tea then settles down in front of the tv until he falls asleep, we both enjoying watching different things so i go up to the bedroom to watch my tv, i wait up as long as possible waiting for him to come to bed some nights its 1am which is hard as i am up at 7am with the children, but i fall asleep waiting so when he eventually comes to bed i am asleep and then he gets up for work at 5.30am the next morning without disturbing me so all i no is that i fall asleep alone and wake up alone, and i dont see him until he comes home again.
i have suggested turning the tvs off and just spending time together talking but this has not happened, i recommend me sitting and watching his sports with him but its not very nice sitting there in silence, i ask for us to watch his stuff then maybe cuddle in bed with a dvd but its just like any idea gets shot down
i just dont no what to suggest to him anymore before i take it personally
i have spoke to him on many occasions about this and he always promises that he will come bed at a decent hour but he never does, am i being selfish in wanting to occasionaly fall asleep with the man i love, i dont expect this every night but a few times a week would be nice
i dont want to leave it like this and in a few months time it gets to the point that i am fine with the fact that i go to bed alone, will it result in him just not sleeping in the same bed as me altogether, then what we stop talking and i am right back were i started and my children have to watch me go through another break up, the kids love my partner to piece it would break their hearts to see us split up, i want to put this right before its too late
please i would love anyones advice.xxxxx