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Original poster

He wants to leave me to look after his parents

19 replies

jtop · 17/03/2010 21:35

My husband wants to go and watch the rugby with his mates on Sat night when his parents are coming to stay for weekend. He says they won't mind but I will ! they are ok and everything but it doesn't seem right to me.

OP posts:
maristella · 17/03/2010 21:38

if i were you i would say that he can only go if he asks his parents to babysit, while he watches rugby and you go out with your friends

FrazzledDad · 17/03/2010 22:15

Sounds a bit unreasonable to me, especially if you're not entirely comfortable with it. I don't know if maristella was joking or not but I reckon her suggestion is a good one.

The six nations fixtures have been know for sometime.

2rebecca · 17/03/2010 22:20

Sounds very unreasonable. His parents, he looks after them. You're not a parent babysitting service (although I read the header as him leaving you to go and live with and look after his elderly parents in their dotage which is the opposite of what he is doing which is dumping them on you). Tell him if he wants to go he takes them with him and gives you a night with your friends.

Blu · 17/03/2010 22:24

Tell him to stay in and watch the rugby with his parents while you go out with your mates.
He is not being reasonable at all.

Karmann · 17/03/2010 22:31

2rebecca I read it the same - thought he was leaving to look after elderly parents!

In the scheme of things, it's no big deal. It's just one evening, unless their visits are few and far between - then it's unreasonable.

Slartybartfast · 17/03/2010 22:32

can;t you all go?

or can his parents babysit while y0u go too?

groundhogs · 17/03/2010 22:35

can't he reschedule his parents? Tell them he'll see more of them if they move the date...

choosyfloosy · 17/03/2010 22:38

Erm... I would think this was OK tbh, but then i do like my inlaws and my dh does like my mum. They need to know about it beforehand though. I wouldn't invite them to stay and then ask them to babysit as an afterthought (different if that were part of the arrangement from the start) but maybe one or more of them would like to go out with dh - I'm being very PC here but I'm thinking his dad might enjoy it!

I must say though that I would probably do a pizza and have an early night/read in bed... make it easy on myself.

And I would put about 10 brownie points in the Bank of Marriage [bad wife, points-counting emoticon]

FrazzledDad · 17/03/2010 22:53

I guess our responses to OP's question are likely to be affected by our own experiences of in-law relationships.

My ex couldn't stand my parents, consequently and I'd never have left her with them alone.

jasper · 17/03/2010 22:55

I don't think he is making an unreasonable request at all

Karmann · 17/03/2010 23:07

"And I would put about 10 brownie points in the Bank of Marriage [bad wife, points-counting emoticon]"

Fabulous! Well deserved points.

Boobz · 17/03/2010 23:11

I would say not on your nelly!

CrankyTwanky · 17/03/2010 23:14

I thought he was leaving you to look after elderly parents too! That would be a tricky one....
However... Seems very rude. I'd do what the others suggest and ask him to let them know you'll be out too. If you are uncomfy with it, he shouldn't treat you as a good little wifey who does his entertaining for him.

OTTMummA · 17/03/2010 23:15

he is not being reasonable, and tbh if in the future my son buggers of to watch a match/game and leaves me and dh with just his partner i would be upset that a. he wasn't bothered about seeing us, and b. that he clearly has no respect or understanding for his partner!

tell him no, he won't be going out and leaving you to entertain HIS parents by yourself, and if he refuses to change plans i would phone the in laws up and say sorry but we both have plans that day, arrange another time when hes going to be there.

cheeky sod!

Hairytoes · 17/03/2010 23:35

Could be worse.

Weighing up him going to watch rugby whilst you babysit parents, versus his parents not being there and him going to rugby. BUT secretly telling you he is going to rugby and going off shagging his secretary, work colleague whatever.

Get over it, let him enjoy himself.

You have even said they are ok!

ItsGraceAgain · 18/03/2010 00:07

jtop, have you now run this one past the in-laws? I think they should be given the chance to reschedule!

If everyone's cool with it, do your damnedest to have a better night than him

Original poster
jtop · 18/03/2010 21:36

Hmm, a variety of opinions ! Thanks all. Based on the fact that his parents dont come to stay that often and they have not been asked if they mind before they decide to come, I have put my foot down and said that I don't agree to him going out. Also, if he does go he will drink loads and then have a hangover next day, which will mean me doing most of the work then also. We can all watch the rugby at home. Not the same as going to the pub with your mates I know but a compromise !

OP posts:
ItsGraceAgain · 18/03/2010 21:42

Sounds good

Sudden horrible thought: his team's not playing his dad's team, I hope?

Original poster
jtop · 18/03/2010 21:48

Nah, they both support Wales so have no personal investment in the outcome at all !

OP posts:
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