14 years

[FabIsDoingPrettyWell]

When is it going to feel real?

Do you mean you've been married for 14 yrs today?

More info pls Fab

When is what going to feel real Fab?

No, we have been together for 14 years. I just keep thinking he will leave me eventually.

But why would he? IMO the longer the marriage goes on, the less likely you are to split up.

DH and I have been togethr 20 years next month and frankly neither of us could be arsed to split up/go thru all the drama of divorce, dating new people.

We're frightfully romantic as you can guess

I would never leave him and he would only leave me if I slept with someone else. I want to stay married and so wouldn't. He has so many reasons to leave though and today I am just feeling worn down with everything.

Sounds like you're fretting unnecessarily, Fab, if you know that he'd only leave you if you were sleeping with someone else.

Are you ok generally at the moment?

Not really. Thanks for asking.

I have to go out now and run an errand before getting the kids.

um
interesting - i remember reading once about the times that a marriage is most at risk the 7 year itch is real apparently and so once a couple has been together 7 years there is a danger (this usually equates to 3ish years married nowadays). And then again at 14 and 21 years there seems to be a spike of divorce.
The 21 year was often once children had flown the next but have no idea why the 14 years.

Could it be something in you - looking beyond perhaps. I dont just mean affairs i mean something as well as the marriage?

I wonder sometimes what it is that is wrong with me.

I can change my mind so many times in a few minutes.

Tonight I am in a beligerant, defiant mood and have been a bit cheeky with hubby. Hard to explain really.

I married for life and I still feel it but sometimes I think I won't end up with him as I am just such hard work.

I have had a chat with dh and he has said he is not going to leave me .

Oh Fab, please just enjoy it!

Apparently the average marriage lasts 11 years.

We've been married 11 years this year.

Ah well, it was good while it lasted

Lol Pirate! Been with mine 13 years and he only managed to be faithful for the first 7! He thinks that's normal though based on the theory that that was the way it was in the stone age! Wilma!

my step dad had an affair behind my mums back for 14 yrs and they were married for 20 yrs when he left her! so i don't think that the longer your together negates you are less likely to split up at all.

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy but if you really knew me in real life you would totally get why I am.

Thank you every one for not fgs-ing me. I am always moaning on here .

Well I hope you remember to fling your arms round him often and tell him how lovely it is to have him there, Fab! Whatever else you put him through, at least he shouldn't have any reason to feel unappreciated. You clearly worship him.

I blooming do .

A bit of mutual adoration works wonders on what I call "bleurgh" days - incredible sex usually does the trick too .

14 years PAH!, thats still the honeymoon phase - some days I can't believe we've been together since 1983! Silver wedding anniversary next week.

Appreciate what you have and live for today, when I feel a bit crap about myself I just think of Trinity and realise how stupid I'm being.

Nah! The longer it goes one the harder it is to escape. Well that's what I'm banking on

Please just relax. If he's stuck around for 14 yrs he must reckon you're a keeper!

I hope so!

Fab - I would never fgs you (or anyone - it's my pet hate, actually, along with wtf, and ffs - so don't ever do it to me or I'll hunt you down ).

It seems clear from all you've said that he's seen the best and worst of you, and he loves and supports you.

I will try not too .

We have been through a lot and it hasn't all been my fault. I do wonder why he stays sometimes.

Ask him what he likes about you.

Tell him what you like about him.

I am hard work sometimes, and what you've said crosses my mind sometimes. But DH has told me that he's a more thoughtful person because he's with me (nearly 20 years).

Last night we had a really great night and a good laugh.

Tonight I pissed him off within 10 minutes of being home and he says we are fine now but I feel an atmosphere. Guilty conscience.

Might get him to come upstairs and we can watch a dvd together.