All about money

[Veryupset]

Last night we had a huge row. It was completely disproprtionate to what it was about.
Basically, I had gone to the supermarket and bought a few cakes. I had given in to my sweet tooth and thought they might be nice with a cup of tea.

Apparently, I was "spending it up large in the supermarket!" . Now this is really untrue but it is a symptom of how our relationship has been lately - money, money, money, money.

Although I know we are skint (but then who isn't) both of us are on pretty good salaries and I am pretty confident we will be okay. But this is not good enough for dh. He worries about it constantly, he reads moneysavingexpert and motley fool and all the horror stories of people in debt and can't afford to live. I just don't share his worry about this. If I wanted to live with an accountant I would have married one IYSWIM

When it comes down to it, I just can't live like this any more. I am feeling claustraphobic and I need some space. i juts don't know how to go about it.

I just don't enjoy living with him anymore. We have a long overseas trip planned and TBH I don't want to go

I would suggest sitting down together and doing some sums. Make a sop to him by agreeing to a budget, then, once the budget is sorted, his side of the bargain is not to complain when you buy cakes (as long as they're within budget...)

'spending it up large'...who is he, ali g?

yes, sit down and do the sums. saying that, you work as well so you've certainly got a right to spend a bit of money when you want don't you?

it's really difficult to determine where the money goes isn't it. we seem to break even each month but during the month we reckon we're doing really well and we'll have enough money to sock into savings/extra mortgage payments. dw told me i had taken out £250 from cash machines last month and i couldn't honestly tell her what i spent it on. I'm not exactly a big spender so i was a little shocked. i've resolved to writing down on the cash machine receipts what i've used the money for (it seems to be take-aways and the odd bag of shopping at tescos)

How much debts do you have, are they getting worse? Are you sure your partner is being neurotic... could he be right?

That said, does sound the argument wasn't really about money at all.

No they are not getting worse - they are getting better.
He's no fun anymore

Would it help if for the overseas trip you planned a budget that you could both live with & you both tried hard to stick to it? Then maybe you both won't worry about it?

I live with an accountant - I sympathise totally

He really needs to lighten up! He's a man, he doesn't understand how we need cakes and sweet things!

He came home tonight with a bunch of roses.

But then, today is our 3rd wedding anniversary