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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So, how does a girl go about getting laid?

44 replies

EcoMinx · 15/03/2010 23:03

Only half tongue in cheek! (Hence cunning disguise)

I think I'd like to try a no strings thing but I don't know how to go about it or even if casual sex is for me

It's been 2 years(ish) since my last relationship and I love being single.

A relationship is not on the cards but I can't envisage a future completely barren of sex.

I'm concerned that if I remain celibate, I'll look back in regret. That I don't want.

It's not for a lack of interest that I haven't gone ahead so far, I just haven't felt I've wanted to yet!

Now I think maybe I do, I just need to define my boundaries before going there. e.g. What are the pros and cons of one nighters v fork buddies?

Advise me, please!

OP posts:

DanFmDorking · 17/03/2010 15:44

Ahem, at the risk of loosing any street cred I might have, please could someone point me to these 'mens forums' that I should be monitoring.

Thank you

QueenofWhatever · 17/03/2010 16:53

Come on now, share nicely! Post links to these mens' forums. Seeing men frantic will cheer me up no end.

mmmwine · 17/03/2010 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsGraceAgain · 17/03/2010 17:44

AskMen is my favourite

You can help chaps with their penis problems on Web MD. And here's a nice thread about why men shouldn't get married. You have to register for the Men's Almanac sex & relationships forum, though - it's hidden. I haven't registered!

ItsGraceAgain · 17/03/2010 17:59

Quick hijack - it's ages since I last consulted AskMen's dating advice section. Am wildly impressed by this:
How to communicate with women
When it comes to getting advice from women, this one is a lost cause. While the words women use may resemble the English language in tone and structure, they are arranged in such a way that makes it impossible to understand. Wrapped in metaphor and laced with enigmatic riddles, communicating with women is a process unique to each relationship. There is no outside observer who may parse their code in its entirety, thus, there is no useful advice.

Couldn't be easier, EcoMinx, you don't even have to talk to your 'targets' as they won't understand anyway

Original poster

EcoMinx · 17/03/2010 18:46

Yes, I visited AskMen, some of the articles made my toes curl and I think I may have developed a mid forehead vein throb over others but the forums are full of reasonable (for the most part!) discussion and problem solving

Grace, I like that excerpt! ...It also explains why MN's rarely frequented by men

OMDB, not sure I trust myself entirely wrt not becoming emotionally entangled. Hmm, maybe that's what's holding me back!

OP posts:

TiggyD · 17/03/2010 21:33

The internet has a variety of sites for people to visit to find a cuddle-buddy. Lots of the men on them are youngsters who only want to waste your time chatting and setting things up then backing out at the last minute. Been there.. Some guys are not what they say they are. Been there.. The ones asking for discretion are married. Only been there a few times.. Many have quite....specialist tastes. Been there..

There are rude clubs you can go to. The rude clubs are pretty polite though. You may get asked if you want to do all sorts of things but there's no pressure if you don't want to. I spent a whole night in the kitchen chatting once.(OK, and one itty bitty blow job, but there was no pressure).

Get out there and have fun!

mampam · 18/03/2010 10:23

Sorry don't have any advice as I'm married and still can't get laid!

Malificence · 18/03/2010 11:54

From my (limited to one man) experience, straddling a man and saying "give it to me, big boy" works wonders!

Are there sex clubs/swingers clubs for single people only? There must be single people who want uncomplicated sex but don't feel comfortable with getting involved with couples.

pottybutnice · 18/03/2010 12:05

I am curious about this swinging thing - is it quite popular then? The thought of it makes my hair stand on end so I am really just curious as to how it works. Imagine meeting your child's teacher or the local vicar!!

prh47bridge · 18/03/2010 14:08

As a man I venture onto this thread with considerable trepidation!

I've never been to a sex club/swingers club but a quick look on the web suggests that most take couples and singles. I've found a few with couples only nights but none with singles only. Of course, the idea is that you only get involved with one member of the couple whilst the other is off with someone else...

Fees are generally lower for single women than for couples. Single men pay more than couples.

Is it popular? I've no idea. However the website I've looked at suggests there are over 150 such clubs in the UK. There seem to be 8 in Blackpool! Makes me look at the place in a completely different way.

Malificence · 18/03/2010 14:15

Venturing onto swinger sites for MN research, that's very decent of you prh.

I just don't "get" why couples do it, it's not something I can get my head around at all, a bit more understandable if they are both bi-sexual but still puzzling to me tbh.

Alouiseg · 18/03/2010 14:25

This has my vote as THE BEST THREAD on mn.

ItsGraceAgain · 18/03/2010 14:59

Swing along, Alouise

The thought of sex clubs terrifies me - it's the expectation that you will have sex with at least one of the people there. I went to a swingers' party once (the hostess had forgotten to mention that when she invited me!) and ended up chatting to the ugly man who was obsessed with trains. He was the only other guest not shagging. I've had better nights.

If you go out on the pull (or trawl the internet), you have the option of going back to your own bed without anybody asking you what's wrong!

prh47bridge · 18/03/2010 15:03

It's a hard life Malificence but someone has to do it

I guess a couple doing it is similar to a couple having an open marriage - both taking the view that it is ok for your partner to have sex with other people as long as they don't get emotionally involved. I can't imagine ever saying that to my wife but I've met people who have. I learnt about car key parties from a girl I worked with years ago who had been to one with her husband. I gather they quite enjoyed it.

Other people's relationships are another country. Some of them are another planet!

WkdSM · 18/03/2010 15:12

I have the goodies......... if only I could remember where I put them...........

Malificence · 18/03/2010 15:37

My goodies belong firmly in the hands of my husband, only they're not quite so firm any more.
I have bought a push-up Bikini in the hopes of looking like Hally Berry when emerging from the Caribbean sea, I might do once he's had a few rum cocktails.

MuthaHubbard · 18/03/2010 17:06

the things that scare me most about a swinging club are a) nobody wanting to get their end away with me and b) seeing someone I know - esp from work/relation!

Lifeafter40 · 18/03/2010 22:11

I just started a thread about FWB type arrangements.

I suppose it depends if you want to kep shagging the same person or try a few different experiences?

Personally I prefer the idea of the FWB thing as I am not a very trusting person and would rather get to know and trust someone, even if is just mostly for sex

Although I don;t think I could just do the sex and nothing else.

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