Wanted to share a weird coincidence

[Monadami]

Hi everyone,

Yesterday, I went out for my friend's Birthday. I didn't really know any of the rest of her party, most were her cousins.

One of her cousins, who I've never met before mentioned her husband who had the same name as an ex of mine, who I was with for 3 years. His name is quite unusual and I thought, surely it can't be the same guy.

Anyway the relationship I had with this man, became violent towards the end, he was my very first boyfriend and even from the beginning he was verbally abusive and always put me down.

When I got home, I checked my Friends Reunited emails, as he'd sent me an email 2 years ago, stating he'd got married and had a baby son, well his son's name was the same as my friend's cousin's son. I mailed her today, asking why she hadn't told me her cousin was married to my ex and she seemed genuinely shocked, saying she'd forgot I'd had a boyfriend with the same name and it didn't occur to her he could have been the same guy.

I just think what a small world it is and how bizarre, my friend of 20 years has a Cousin who ended up marrying my first boyfriend 3 years ago. I wonder if he hits her!

That's a horrid thought (the violence). Too late to warn her now though.

It is sometimes quite a small world though. Like when you go on holiday and meet someone you know.

Not a nice thought... but can see that you would be wondering that. Maybe he's turned over a new leaf.

I don't know. I am of the belief that violent men never change. I was very naive when I met him, having had a strict and sheltered upbringing.

Early in the relationship, I recall asking him if he would ever hit me and he actually said he couldn't promise he wouldn't. I should have run a mile at that point.

I feel sorry for my friend's cousin, as she didn't sound very happy when she spoke of him, saying she's accepted her lot in life and she tries not to say too much as it makes the situation worse. Obviously she has no idea I was his ex girlfriend almost 20 years ago.

My friend say's her cousin say's her husband is very secretive and she knows little about him. Very strange to marry someone you don't know I would have thought.

this is so sad. a couple guys i knew well when i was younger and were interested in me(but never dated) I am sure became abusers and went on to have relationships and children. one of them was the son of a close family friend and he sexually abused a cousin of mine who was only 5 at the time. i grew up in a very small country so this sort of coincidence is much more likely over there.

@ foxy. What an awful thought, a man like that probably having kids. Good God, it's painful to think what he might do to his own offspring.

Monadami, I guess the world is small, esp. if you stay in the part of the country where you grew up or belong to a fairly international community. I have had the oddest run-ins incl, one in Jakarta where this man was a neighbour of father's family in colonial Africa and now living next to my cousins in West Canada...

I also wonder if he hits her or is a general arsehole because like you I belive that leopards don't change their spots.

it is a strange feeling when your past confronts you, isn't it

my first serious bf was a compulsive womaniser who made an utter fool of me and emotionally manipulative, to boot

I haven't seen him for 25 years...I sometimes wonder how he has turned out...not good, I wouldn't think

I made a new friend at church in 1998, she had a baby and was a single parent. About six months after we met, it emerged in conversation that her baby's father was my ex-husband. I hadn't seen him for six years and had moved 25 miles away from where I lived with him. She had met him at work and had a brief relationship, the morning after pill didn't work. She went ahead with the pregnancy, he disappeared and has never met the child, who is almost 12.

You never know who you'll run into!

Now that is the coincidence of coincidences Lilac. Did you keep in contact with her?