Can you adopt parents? Not in the legal sense...

[lunavix]

I know this is probably going to sound really dumb but I've thought about it for a while.

My own parents were never what you could call 'parental', and both me and my (much older) sister really feel a loss from not having any real family apart from each other, and now our own children. And as we've lived continents apart for many years, our own relationship isn't obviously as close as it could be. So I was thinking... surely there must be some older people, say in their 50s or such, who either didn't have children or feel lonely? And occassional visits and stuff from a ready-built set of 'kids' and 'grandkids' would help them too?

It's possibly the daftest idea ever, but surely I can't be the only one really feeling a void from this.

It's a lovely idea. Have you thought of asking any residential homes if they have any days where people can bring their children along? One of the better ones around here has a sort of open day, where parents are encouraged to bring along young children to play games and listen to story of the 'olden days'.

I did debate homes and age concern, but from a purely selfish point of view I'd rather go for parents as opposed to grandparents! (For myself clearly.) I'm still in my twenties and I think it's having very young kids thats helped me realise I feel quite emotional about having noone to ask for practical advice and have a cuppa with (obviously I could with someone older than that, and as my own mum would have been 65ish this year I suppose a touch hypocritical, just how I feel I guess.)

I would love to adopt my neighbours, not for me but for DS. I don't even know where to start even when they never forget to bring a present for DS in his birthday and Christmas. So watching this thread....

Oh I'm so glad it's not only me! lol

I don't have any older neighbours though... I don't really know where you can go to 'pick up' older couples, no seediness intended :D

there used to be an adopt a grandparent agency. I'll try to find it.

a granny

In terms of picking up old people, you might try helping at something like a hospital or charity shop or community gardening club ie something which attracts the active of mind and body with plenty of free time crowd. Or go to church and make a bee line for the woman with the big teapot in the church hall.

It's a lovely idea and I'm sure I've heard of some scheme or something that promotes this.

FWIW it's happened at least twice informally in my own family, so I had a very dear adopted Granny who wasn't my biological Granny but a very important person in my father's life, and have a very dear adopted Godmother who isn't technically my Godmother but became a very dear friend of my mother's a couple of years after I was officially Christened. And both relationships have been very special, bringing much happiness to everyone involved. So if you do happen to find someone with whom you click, it could be marvellous!

Thanks for the advice and help everyone!!

I'm guessing it's only really grandparents that would really be accessible from this idea (I suppose younger sorts would probably still be working/busy/enjoying their freedom!)

I still plan to look into it regardless, seeing as I have no grandparents either :D

Thanks everyone.. also if anyone can come up trumps with any other ideas they'd be much appreciated!

My 'Godmother' once confessed that she had deliberately sought out friends 20 years younger than herself when she was still middle-aged, on the grounds that she didn't want to reach old age and find all her friends had died. So while she and my mother became friends because they had things in common and enjoyed each others' company, there was an agenda on my Godmother's part, at least.

Lunavix DH and I feel exactly the same as you do and keep keeping our eyes out. We live abroad and don't have particularly "parental parents" as you so diplomatically put it .

We had thought about putting an advert in the local newspaper but then the thought of "interviewing" and rejecting people, and going through all the stuff, like "do you believe hitting children is OK"!! seemed too much.

So, we just keep looking out for people and sadly haven't found anyone yet. Those who we like, are often very busy already.

I agree with you about people in old people's homes. That would be a lovely thing to do but if you are looking for active, independent people then not the best place.

This is my long winded way of saying I'll be watching this thread in case someone comes along with a good idea.

Meant to say, rejected some people, and probably being rejected ourselves by some. We are not that up ourselves.

hey tapeworm, come back please, the link is not working!

www.adopt-a-granny.co.uk/

Thank you!

I went to have a look but it seems the site doesn't have any information added since 3 years ago. I take it didn't take off.

I think it's a great idea, but I think it probably has to evolve.

(I suppose you could put an advert in somewhere like the Guardian - they have friends seeking friends in their "dating" section)

Places you might meet people 50 and up - Church, choirs, exercise classes, especially walking groups, evening classes - foreign languages, volunteering.