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Original poster

what would you think

8 replies

foxy1 · 14/03/2010 16:57

my husband had an affair i found out last christmas. he ended it and we stayed together. this week i found a receipt for perfume for £56 for a large bottle of perfume which i was not given for mothers day. do you think someone asked him to buy it or do you think it was for her (she is with someone else think) or new person? He is going away for work for a year and we will be going as well for 1 year. have not said anything what do you think. thank you

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 14/03/2010 17:07

Ask him? Do you have a birthday coming up perhaps?

heQet · 14/03/2010 18:09

Ask him.

mrsboogie · 14/03/2010 18:20

I would think he is cheating again.He has done it once and more or less got away with it, so he is likely to do it again.

I'm sorry. I wouldn't be going away with him.

CelticBanshee · 14/03/2010 20:10

No point asking us what we think - it's what you think that matters

You live with him, you've decided to give him another chance, you're the one trying to build up trust

What do you think?

Ask him straight out, he doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt anymore.

chubbasmum · 14/03/2010 20:29

yep i would ask him straight up unfortunately once bitten twice shy good luck hun

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 14/03/2010 20:50

I'm afraid I'm going to be cynical here. Depending on how you found out last time, I think that someone who's going to cheat a second time would be much better at covering their tracks this time, so before confronting, I'd start snooping. Obviously, eliminate all the normal reasons for this purchase (his own Mum, colleague/secretary's birthday, for you) but then start looking at the usual sources e.g. phone (including evidence of second phone), E mails etc.

It all depends on whether you've got to the bottom of why he was unfaithful last time - and how confident you have been that this could never happen again. If I were to find something like this now, I'd just ask my H, as I have regained trust in him and am no longer suspicious. However, he has done so much work on himself and we have done so much work as a couple, that I think it would be extremely unlikely that this could ever happen again. However, if this were three months on from discovery, like yours is, I wouldn't be in that place yet, so I'd snoop.

BTW, really sorry. I can imagine how your tummy felt when you found that receipt .

skinnyhinny · 15/03/2010 13:52

Yes I would ask him. But then you could alert him to his carelessness (presuming he's guilty of something bad) and he could start to be more careful covering his tracks. I would drop into conversation something about perfume or something and just wait to see what his reaction is. Also you could pinch his phone one day and look at his texts, phonebook etc. Do a bit of snooping but don't alert him and he may slip up again and really drop himself in it. Good luck, can't be nice x

Kiwinyc · 15/03/2010 14:12

FFS just ask him, not a load of anonymous people speculating on an internet forum. Force him to be honest with you.

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