How do I get my mojo back?

[Coldhands]

When me and DH first got together, we had sex quite a lot, as you do at first. But after a while it fizzled out and we didn't do it that often. This did coincide with me being diagnosed with M.E./CFS.

It took me a long time to get pregnant, fertility problems and the fact that I just don't want sex much tbh.

Now we haven't had sex since I got pregnant which was a long time ago. I have been referred from my docs for physco sexual counselling but there is quite a waiting list. I don't want us to carry on like this as I am afraid I would be pushing him towards having an affair. He says he wouldn't and he still loves me loads but it doesn't help that he has a really high sex drive and I don't. He admitted the other day that the longer he goes without sex, the more he wants it whereas women are the other way around.

I do get turned on by stuff (reading and other stuff) but I just cannot be bothered and now it is building up to a huge deal where it feels like I need to lose my virginity again.

How do I get it back? It is driving me mad and we want to ttc DC2 soon as I could have problems again.

I would just say.... do it do it do it!!

Maybe start off by trying to have more cuddles in general. I find that just the smell of DP gets me in the mood, pheromones or whatever. Then set a time in your head and decide to have sex then, and then do it. As you say, the more you do it the more you will want to do it.

Can you do, um, other things for your DH?

Hmm, other things, lol.

I could but having M.E. it kills my hands and wrists (he must be a saint to put up with me tbh). I do it when we do have sex though to get him going, but obviously that has been a while now. I don't like doing it (I'm really trying to be polite here) with my mouth, it makes me gag and urge which is very unsexy. I find it bad enough doing my teeth sometimes.

I am another advocate of "just do it" - if you have physical problems/fatigue then something like the spoons position is very sensual and relaxing, you really don't have to do much other than relax and enjoy it - use lube / massage oil.
You could always buy a masturbatory toy to use on him if you're not quite up to the full works, lovehoney has a good range and it is easier than using your hands or mouth.

Sex should also bring health benefits to you.

Thanks Malifcence. I will definately bear that in mind.