Do I find break - ups more traumatic than most?

[poshsinglemum]

The first time I dumped a man/boy at 16 I felt so guilty that I spiralled into a deep depression that lasted for a month.
I therefore could not bring myself to dump my abusive ex bf and when we did finally split I ended up in hospital(very complex).
I seem to find break-ups, even with short term partners very traumatic.

Is it codependancy?

I have recognised that I am co-dependent. I have never not been in a relationship. First marriage (15 years).2nd relationship (6 years - abusive). 2nd marriage (now) - abusive - H narcisisstic and alcoholic. Don't cope well with break-ups. I stay too long in self-destructive relationships - in one now. When I split (for a year) with my present H, I did not cope well and fell apart - but I am sure alot of this was due to prolonged stress from being in a bad relationship and going into some kind of post-traumatic state of shock after being in a permanently stressed and anxious state for years. I think it will happen again, but hopefully to a lesser extent next time we split (I am hoping).

What I do know now is that I will definitely need some time on my own out of a relationship to get stronger on my own and be more independent.

I have looked at co-dependency websites and there is a good book called 'Women who love too much' by Lundy Bancroft.