Having a weird couple of days

[Scorps]

For those that don't know my story, here it is shortly

my h left me at 37 weeks pg with my dc4. He ha cheated on me, lied and was emotionally abusive in some ways. My dc4 is ten weeks now. We had been together 7 yrs, I'm 25.

I'm managing dc perfectly, benefits sorted,etc.

However I am increasingly worrying about when/if he's seeing someone else. It makes my tummy hurt and my arms weird.

I'm scared of my future, if I'll ever meet a special someone.

Help reassure me.

I accept it's over etc... I don't get why I'm feeling like this.

Goodness it sounds like you are doing SO well so far.

You are bounds to have wobbles, serious wobbles, where it all seems too scary. Just try to keep calm, make yourself see how well you are coping how much you've acheieved so far, how you didnt think you could do it but you are. Take pride and strength from the strength you are showing, but that doesn't mean you won't have moments when you crumble a bit too.

I ahven't been where you are, but I ahve frinds that have. They say what got them through aftre all the shock etc, was just focusing on the family and making that feel strong secure and ahppy again, for her and the kids, and acheiving that. She reckons it took about 2 yrs for her to honestly say look we're complete now without you.

Try not to panic abot meeting someone, tyr to eassure yourself it will happen one day (as I'm sure it will, you're SO young!)but now focus on you and the kids.

Hope you're Ok

Thankyou yes I'm doing ok, I just wish I didn't care about his life iyswim

I think it's bothering me as it's been a few months now and I guess he will want a gf/sex etc, just I know it's going to crush me.

It may crush you, but once it happens you will be able to deal with it, you'll surprise yourself that aftre the crying, fear and raging, you'll pik yourself up and focus on yur kids and making life good with them. You will. I know people who've been where you are and then got to a point they didnt think they woulf, where they are happy in thier new lives.

Also I've just looked at yor profile, you are GORGEOUS, you'll meet someone else, I imagine they'll have to form an orderly queue!!

Don't rush though you have loads of time.

Think it's totally normal to feel how you do Scorps, not sure how you can stop feeling like it though, with time I imagine it will get easier.

You are doing great!

Thankyou

I guess it's also because I'm carving out a life of my own - since I was 14 I have always had a bf - one 3 yr relationship, a few flings and one 7 yr relationship. It's odd to me to have a life of my own. I do believe in love and marriage still and I want that one day, but I now know it will happen when it's meant to, when I'm ready and can stand the thought of a man touching me, lol.

I'm very tired ATM as well, Lacey isn't sleeping well (10 weeks old).

So pleased to hear you're doing well, Scorps, bar the odd wobble. I'm sure you're right about getting used to being on your own. You might want a man to complete your household, but you don't need one to complete you.

Scorps You don't know me, but I remember your earlier thread and I just wanted to say how utterly incredible you've been, and are still being!

I can understand how it would twist you up to think of him with someone else - even if it's just that it's not fair that he should be able to walk off and start a new life. It makes even more sense when you say you've not been single as an adult. But Anniegyg is absolutely right about one thing - you don't need him or any other man around to make you a complete person. You're already an amazing person, so strong and such a great mum - I'm in absolute awe!

Wishing you the very best.