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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

WWYD- Not getting on with close friend's (soon to be) DH

3 replies

notasize10yetbutoneday · 12/03/2010 11:36

Hi

My close friend met her fiance a couple of years ago and since then the 4 of us (them plus me and DH) meet up/go for meals etc at least once a fortnight. They are getting married in June and I am one of their bridesmaids and also organising her hen weekend.

I always thought I had got on with her fiance, at least superficially, in that we all have a good time together but recently more and more I am getting the vibe that he doesn't like me and on a couple of occasions he has actually been quite rude to me by disagreeing wildly with things I say or making very pointed comments.

Last month I asked him to fill out a quiz for my friend's hen weekend- a Mr and Mrs type thing. A few questions, hardly an essay. He text back saying 'will try and do it this week but difficult because [his fiance] is always around'. I text back saying thank you, how much I appreciated it etc. That was last month and he still hasnt got in touch about it. I text him again 2 days ago with a really friendly reminder just saying I could really do with it this week and...no reply at all.

I am now really annoyed that he hasn't even had the courtesy to reply and to be honest although we are supposed to be going out with them next week I have absolutely no desire to see her fiance because I really think he has been very rude to me.

The thing is though, its always the 4 of us going out so it will seem wierd if i start saying to my friend' lets just make it a girl thing' and also not very fair on my DH who does enjoy her fiances company although he can see why I'm annoyed at his behaviour.

What would you do?

Thanks if you made it this far!

OP posts:
notasize10yetbutoneday · 12/03/2010 11:40

Just re-read my OP and written down it all sounds so petty! I should stress its not so much about the quiz as the way he speaks to me occasionally, and also some of the negative comments he has made about the area where we live..i suppose loads of little things boiling up into one and the added stress of trying to organise my friend's hen weekend etc.

OP posts:
lilacclaire · 12/03/2010 12:25

When he's rude to you, can you say quite directly 'do NOT speak to me like that'.
Would your dh back you up?

lilacclaire · 12/03/2010 12:26

Or when rude, can you call the evening to an abrupt halt?

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