Feeling guilty

[ant3nna]

Few days ago I met one of DP's old friends when out drinking with mates, lets call him D. DP was a few hundred miles away for work and we got chatting about him. Mates went off home and as I was having fun, stayed behind with D since we were having a good time catching up with each other.

By the end of the night, we are both very pissed. He kisses me. I ignore it. At chucking out time, I make a beeline for the bus stop. He kisses me again. I tell him firmly no to do it again.

Bus is full so it goes merrily past without letting any body on. D drags me over the taxi rank and comes with me even though he is staying within walking distance of drinking establishment which miles away from where I live. I say that I can get home on my own and he says that he feels he has to get me home safely.

He insists on paying for the taxi even though I have enough cash. I now feel guilty that he has come all this way and offer to call a taxi. He says its alright. I offer him use of the floor in my room (shared house or it would have been the couch). In the house he then tries it on again. I tell him that he either is content to sleep on the floor or I call him a taxi. He takes the floor option. I know nothing else happened.

I just feel really guilty because DP is away and I was feeling lonely and so close to actually thinking 'fuck it' and going for it. I don't think it was my fault. Perhaps I should have said no and left straight away the first time he kissed me rather than ignoring it.

I did tell DP what happened the next morning but obviously didn't tell him that I did enjoy the attention. Now its just eating me up. How can I stop feeling guilty about it?

You're human- we all enjoy feeling admired and desired and I think most people in long term relationships will have times, esp when pissed, when they're tempted to stray. You should feel proud of yourself that you resisted doing something that you'd prob regret. Plus you told your DP about it so no secrets.

Yeah maybe you should've parted company after the first kiss but thats easy to say in retrospect.

What kind of guy makes a move on his mate's missus anyway? He's the one that should be feeling guilty.

'What kind of guy makes a move on his mate's missus anyway? He's the one that should be feeling guilty.'

And yet DP has just told me that he posted on Facebook that his evening would have been perfect if he'd had a friend or girlfriend to share it with. What a prize twat. I'm sitting here feeling sick to the stomach every time I think about it and he just wishes he could have scored. He better hope he doesn't run into DP any time soon.

sounds like you were both a bit lonely and down
nothing happened, move on and stop dwelling!

I don't think you should feel guilty for feeling tempted. He sounds a bit like he was trying to seduce you via a war of attrition, keeping on trying despite you saying no and no and no again.

And at him wanting to get you home 'safely'. Who on earth were you under danger from? Oh, yeah ... him.

You can't help what you feel, but you can help what you do. You felt tempted, which one could say is only natural. However you did the right thing, only a bit too kind because you accepted his motives at face value. File it under "lucky escape", learn from it, and don't allow a guy past the threshold in those circumstances again. Congratulate yourself that you were able to stick to your principles; wouldn't you feel a lot more guilty posting here the next morning to say "I didn't mean it to happen, honest..." instead of "I was slightly tempted"? Not to mention what he might have said on Facebook, and what your DP (and everyone else reading it) would have made of it...

Thanks ladies. What I needed to hear really. I suppose it's was a surprise to me that I was actually tempted to do something I know I would have regretted. DP being really nice about it just made me feel even worse.