I'm on a journey to separate from my h can anyone help me on my way.

[labyrinthine]

I have asked my h to leave now repeatedly;he won't as he doesn't want to leave the house or be the one "to blame"in the eyes of his family.

I have contacted a solicitor for advice re financial settlement etc,but I know I will eventually move from the family home as I can't afford to run itand don't want to live here any more .

I need a lot of childcare and will need even more when a single parent.H behaviour and continual putting me down is impacting on the atmosphere in the house and the children are suffering.

We are in separate rooms and I don't do anything with him ~ I can't stand the sight of him and am considering moving far away.

How do I get through the months together that are left without going mad?

I am feeling lonely and sad ~ he is very rude and critical and makes endless "jokes" about me,the dcs and random people.

For example..

Someone called me pretty at work last week[a woman]and h went on and on about they must have been blind,with white sticks,"foreign" so didn't know any better wth??He says these things continuously.

I just want occasional reassurance/guidance from anyone either my helpers from my original thread or those who have been through the same,thanks.

sorry duplicated thread

oh it seems they deleted the duplicate thread wiith the messages on

thanks for your message mumonthenet

oh god,

I hate it when that happens, and I always end up on the "wrong" thread! Can u ask mnhq to retrieve the other one and delete this one?

Very confused myself.

Hope you're ok.

I lived for 14 months in the same house as my xdh to be. I instigated the split. He did agree to the separation and we put the house on the market but couldn't afford to live separately and it took a year to sell. My heart bleeds for you - it was a very very difficult situation.

In our case XDH to be found a girlfriend, which helped a lot as he was often out with her.

It will be tough - especially if xdp uses the children's presence to treat you in ways that are unacceptable but where you can't fight back without upsetting them. My advice here would be to make sure he knows you know what he's doing - if they hear the odd row it won't kill them and it won't do them any good to think you can be treated disrespectfully.

Obviously you are already trying to spend as much time apart as you can, but could you take the children away on holiday yourself for a week or so at some stage? And encourage him to do the same? When you split up presumably he will have them sometimes: can you start mirroring this at home, eg you go and stay with a friend every other weekend or something?

One thing I can say is you WILL survive and one day you WILL be free and all the pain now will be worth it for what you will gain in the future.