Lost for words - What can I say to my friend?

[fozzy26]

My friend has just discovered her mother has ovarian cancer. I would love to send her a card offering support and to let her know I am here if she needs me. I am not very good in emotional situations and don't want to come across as cold. How can I express that I really mean it and show her I care?`

buy a card with a good verse or whatever inside - there are loads of 'thinking of you' ones out there

dont' try to second guess her emotions (ie don't say 'you must be feeling xyz')

Just write something like

'i am so sorry to hear the news about your mother. I am thinking of you and am here for you whenever you need me'

Keep it short. but do it.

Just be yourself - what you've written in your post there is lovely.

"Dear x, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum's news, this must be such a difficult time for you and I don't know exactly how to express this but just wanted to offer you my support, and let you know that I'm here if and when you need me."

Simple is usually best, in my experience.

As well as the card, maybe also ring or visit. I think saying I am here if you need me is lovely, but it relies on your friend actually contacting you and saying I need you iyswim, and I'm not sure we're all very good at doing that.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, some people were fascinated and wanted all the gory details, some avoided the subject (and me). I found the best reaction was always something wordless. My hairdresser gave me a big hug as did a colleague. Hugs and squeezes were the most acceptable things. Other people did not know how to react. Strangely neither did I. I tried to be bright and optimistic to make it easier for them. I didn't feel bright and optimistic. Hugs made it much easier. Several people sent me cards which I valued hugely. Hope this helps.