How do I know...

[twinklesky]

...when I am being unreasonable?

I mean, I know I CAN be unreasonable. Non-PMT withstanding, I can be childish in arguements, I can be insulting, I can even display aggressive behaviour sometimes.

Obviously I can see how I am acting, but sometimes I feel like I may have provoked an overtly negative reaction in my partner, who responds with what he INSISTS is an equal level of aggression.

Is it possible that sometimes, the way that arguements turn out, could be my fault? Or do you think that men are generally more intimidating anyway...

I know this posts sounds a bit like a desperate attempt to justify my partners behaviour...but sometimes on these forums I see women posting things like "Oh he is saying you are childish because he wants you to continue letting him abuse you" Is it possible that I AM just a bit childish?

This post doesn't make much sense.

I suppose the question is what is your reaction to his "aggression"? Does it intimidate you and make you feel frightened? Does your behaviour make him feel frightened?

If the answer is yes (either from you or him) then the other person needs to modify their behaviour, because you have a problem.

When you say childish, what do you mean exactly?

Need more info.

I guess that's it. I could wave a knife at him and he wouldn't be frightened, not that I have, or will ever. He just has to raise his voice and I become defensive and worried.

Being 'childish' is something that comes up a lot between us,

I think that staying up until 2am playing Xbox and smoking weed is childish. He thinks getting offended at his 'jokes' is childish.

Depends what his "jokes" are. If they're at your expense and they hurt you then you are not being childish.

Laughing at you and then telling you it's just a joke is a really nasty thing to do.

Have you told him he frightens you? Has he listened? If he doesn't care that his behaviour threatens you then you have a problem.