Family has always been important to me and I miss my sister and brother and the childhood we shared. Our parents have both died, in the last 5 years and this has been made even worse, for me, by the fact that my siblings want little if any contact with me and my DCs, especially as I'm a single mum.
My brother and sister are both very successful professionals, with high profile careers, and are often 'in the media'. Bro. is married with SAHM wife and 2 small DCs and sister is divorced with 5 DCs, who have largely been raised by nannies and are now raising themselves. Her ex-husband doesn't have or want contact with his children.
It's as if my siblings are 'too busy and important' to want something as 'trivial' as to spend time with even their own families let alone with me and my DCs. Bro. has lots of unresolved issues from his childhood and has virtually become estranged from me, since our father's death. He refused even to acknowledge me or my DCs at our father's funeral. I think the root of it is because he feels I was the 'favoured child' when we were young.
Sis. will respond to email contact but only about v practical things. She won't take phone calls from me and if I get through to her ever, she's always 'too busy to speak'. Neither would ever dream of phoning me, ever or meeting up although we don't live that far away from each other.
Our parents death has made me value even more my family of origin and my sibs are all I have left. On the other hand, it's made them more and more detached from me and each other and I know they think I'm really weird to want contact with them and their DCs and even to want to see them.
Myself and DSs see the sibs and families maybe once every 2 yrs and I'd like much more contact and also regular telephone contact.
When we had a holiday last yr in the same UK village that my bro and family were staying (hadn't planned this beforehand, only found out later he'd be there too!), he specifically stated he didn't want us to meet up and we had to be v careful every day in case they were on the same bit of beach that we were, in case he felt we were intruding.
I found this way beyond weird and unnatural and I'd really love my DSs to get to know their cousins but it looks as if they never will. My sibs would be their joint guardians if I died - as there's no one else - and yet barely know their uncle and aunt at all. My 8 ur old twins already think it's strange to have an uncle and aunt like this and often ask why Uncl X or Auntie Z doesn't want to see me or them.
Wise Mumsnetters, am I the weird one to want to connect with my sibs and to mainatin family attachments? Should I give up and accept that my closest blood relatives, who got on well together as children - are now almost as lost to me as our late parents?
Both sibs have suggested that I'm the strange one and should really just rely on friends now for human contact and not at all on family. Yet all around me, I see others with daily close contact with sisters and brothers and I feel sadness and grief at 'losing' my own sibs. as well as my parents.
I'd love to hear about other people's adult relationships with their sibs and if this situation is v common or unusual?