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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying to work out what to do

4 replies

iStickyTape · 03/03/2010 13:33

Namechanger.

This is probably trivial, but I've started feeling really bad and could use an ear to try and work out what to do.

I'm part of a mums group that meets regularly at each others' houses. While we probably wouldn't normally be friends, we generally get on well and look forward to our time together.

However one or two in the group have become increasingly judgmental and competitive. Sometimes I get nervous before a lunch. The get-togethers used to be just coffee, and through one-up-manship have evolved into a 3 course gourmet treat. Now I start worrying about my turn long in advance.

I've also realized that some of the girls are bitching about others behind each others' backs. I'm wondering what they're saying about me!

Up until now, the benefits have out-weighed the negative, but it's beginning to change. Either I can opt out, which I'm reluctant to do because I still get a lot out of it, or I've got to try and change the situation - but how???

Has anyone been in a similar position? How did you deal with it?

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 03/03/2010 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iStickyTape · 03/03/2010 13:50

Ha! It IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! You wouldn't believe the things that are not de rigeur. Like GET A LIFE! That's what I really feel like saying.

OP posts:
throckenholt · 03/03/2010 13:57

why not say that now the kids are growing lets not have the big lunch thing - lets go back to having coffee and biscuits while the kids play.

husbandnet · 03/03/2010 13:59

Invite them to yours and give em tea and biscuits. Then tell them you can't compete, but what you really value about the group is a, b and c.

Most of the girls will breathe a sigh of relief. They'll be feeling the same.

Just be honest

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