Does this sound okay or am I having an early mid-life crisis?

[BunnyLebowski]

To set the story. DP and I have been together 8 years and have 1 dd. We're happy together and have a good balance of work/childcare/time together. We have loads of fun and still fancy each other rotten .

So....we both did some travelling separately before we got together and then together before having dd and we loved it.

I have always been very independent. I went to France at 17 to work as an au-pair and travelled all round Europe. They were some of the best times of my life.

Anyway I'm now feeling a strong urge to go away somewhere on my own. Not immediately (dd is 17 months and still bf'ing) but maybe next year.

I would love to hop on a plane to Barcelona or Rome and just spend a few weeks travelling around beautiful places and meeting new people.

I spoke to DP about it last night and he was really encouraging and said it was a good plan and he would love to do something similar. It's not really feasible for us to go together as we don't have family anywhere nearby to leave dd with. And if I'm being totally honest it's something I'd rather do on my own.

I guess I feel I've lost some of my identity and my freedom since having dd and would love to get this back even just for a wee while.

Do I sound like a selfish wench? Once you have kids is this sort of thing just not on? Anyone felt anything similar?

It's a great idea! It would only be a bad idea if your dp was dead against it and you were insisting on going anyway.

My dh goes away once a year because he has an adventurous streak that I just don't share. I really feel that being married or in a partnership doesn't mean that you should stop doing the things you love, as long as your partner supports you. (Do watch out for other people's unwanted comments though. The number of my friends who feel they have to say things like, "I don't know why you let him go." I have no idea why they feel they have to chip in when I'm happy, dh is happy and the children are happy.)

Thanks for your reply TT

I really agree with what you say about being in a partnership not meaning you can't do anything on your own.

I'm 100% behind DP planning something of his own too.

I'm going to start saving for it

I know we'll get lots of raised eyebrows from family but we're already seen as the unconventional weird hippies of the clan so I'm not bothered .

Thanks again.

Go for it.
You will love it and come back refreshed, and great that your DH is on board.
My DH goes off on cycling holidays - admittedly only for a few days. It's important to 'free the spirit'!

Lovely idea do it!

It is not unreasonable, although I think that a couple of weeks may prove to be too long.

Why don't you plan a weekend away. Do you have anyone who you could leave your DD with once she is no longer BF? Even if you have to plan an extra day or two to take her there?

It's not my cup of tea, but I can't see anything wrong with it. As long as you and your DP are both happy, it's nobody else's business, is it?

I really want DH and the children to go away somewhere, so I can have some peace and quiet in the house to do my own thing

could you not go together and take your child with you ?

now is the time to do it, before the tie of schooling etc

babies and toddlers are very portable !

Bunny, you are not alone! I felt like this very strongly not that long ago and also thought it was a mid life crisis. Like you I was very independent before I settled down, got married and had DC's. I spent a year backpacking around the world on my own (met many people on the way some of whom I am still in touch with 15 years later) along with loads and loads of other shorter trips.

I also am feeling now that my DC's are older and soon both will be full time at school, I lost myself over the last few years, I was essentially just a mother (and a wife sometimes) and now I want to be just me again for a while. I talked about it with DH and he was very supportive and would have let me go off travelling for a few months on my own. But I couldn't leave my DC's for that long so I haven't done it.

What I have done though is this year booked 3 holidays to places that I would like to visit, they are not necessarily child friendly, will involve long haul flights etc, but I feel it is a compromise that accomodates my needs and that of my family.

But perhaps at some point in the future I may do a few weeks travelling around on my own again, and I am so glad to see that I am not the only one who feels like this.

Travelling was my absolute passion when i was younger and I thought I had lost the bug but no, it was just lying dormant throughout the early years of having DC's and it now seems to have come back with a vengeance!

AF - yes we could all go but as I said in my OP this is something I want to do on my own.

exotictraveller - than you for your post. It's good to know I'm not alone. Your holiday plans are a good compromise.

MmeLindt - I will definitely do that once dd stops bf'ing.

oops, sorry, I don't usually make a habit of misreading OP's

If you really want to I would go. I did 2 weeks riding in chile a couple of years ago and it was wonderful to get out of my routine and do something I had always wanted to do. That said my ex went ocean racing at 40 and then had an affair with a girl he met on a boat

Do it! Do it! Do it!

elastamum for you. The knobber.

I'm loving your enthusiasm wickerman

Will keep you all posted! Have already been looking at flights, can you tell I really want this?

Bunny, I'm with wickerman, DO IT! You only live once and life's too short and all that.....

Definitely, and double especially if DP is supportive as he sounds.

Just make sure he gets his too!