making friends

[danmae]

dh and i have moved quite a few times in the last few years. we have now setteled in quite a rural area, we are here 3 years. we have no friends close by. dh and i both work and hour from home so work friends are to for away to see socialy.

I am starting to feel quite lonley. we have no one calling to the house and the kids only mix with others at the childminders. dh is ok. he joined a fishing club and made some great friends there but i feel like i have no one (family an hours drive away)

i work 3 days a week but on a rota which makes it difficult to go to mums and tots frequently enough to make friends

ds 2.5 and dd 10 months have always attended the same childminder. there are 3 other familys there. all kids are around the same age. my child minder is going on maternity leave next week and i know the other mums will be at a loose end.

i was thinking of asking one or two of them around for a cup of tea and let the kids play but i am really think i have lost the art of conversation. i was always quite popular at school, college etc but i am feeling quite inadaquite the are all alot better educated the i am, they are all from this area and have family close by and i think they might have better things to do tham come to my house for tea.

i dont want to come across as needy. but i really need to put myself out there a bit. any ideas how?

Go for it, I'm in a rural situation too having come from the city, it can be so hard to get to know people, you'll be fine once you get chatting, it's like riding a bike! Were I am is so remote there isn't anyone to ask for tea, so if I was you I would def take advantage of what social chances the place has to offer. Also maybe you could get to know people through dh fishing buddies? Maybe have a couple over for diner or someting? Good luck, hope things improve for you.

Go for it nothing to lose

They will likely be delighted to come over to see you. I also live in a rural area and once you make the effort people usually are happy to engage with you. Good luck

yep think i will invite them, i think i am over thinking things a bit. no new adult company for so long.

will get dh to invite some fishing friends and there partners over, think it might be easier to stick with the other mums. at least we will have something in common. i hope it goes ok

Hi
I do feel for you. It definitely gets harder to make friends. I think we become choosier as we get older. I think you need to go to some playgroups even if it is randomly. You'll gradually get to know faced. Also a good idea to invite other mums for cup of tea. Don't worry about the education thing at all, I'm supposedly well educated but that has never impacted on who I choose to be friends with. I am friends with people because I like them, not because of their education of status.
Children are a great common topic for conversation.
Also give it time and don't expect to click with everyone. There are always some people you get on with better than others.
What about meeting up with friends/family half way?
Good luck, I'm sure you'll soon make new friends.