Do you feel envious at friends good fortune....

[Germangirl]

Hi
this sounds horrible and I wish I didn't feel this way but I find that whenever a friend tells me their good news about a job promotion or holiday etc I am genuinely pleased for them but still feel a little envy. I don't understand why because I'm very fortunate to have lovely family, friends, house, financial security etc. Does anyone else feel this wAy or am I just warped?
Be honest now.

Frogetyfrog- I'm sure you have lots of good qualities. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Stillfrazzled- my sympathies to you. I've been in that position. It's absolute torture. It will get better one day. Hope you get your dc soon. At one time while ttc, I knew 10 pregnant people. I literally felt sick when a pregnancy wAs announced. After my first miscarriage I couldn't bring myself to visit a friend and baby for some weeks after. When I did visit friend it made me cry.
I wouldn't have wished them any Ill but just wanted it to be my turn.

Mold - I agree. I get envious at families having fun together. Guess it's because I've not done that. Been on plenty of exotic holidays. Maybe the families are envious of those.
And people who seem contented with their lot.

I seem to be constantly striving for that no matter how much I have in terms of non material and material things. Hate this characteristic in me.

I had things that some of you have mentioned you envy others for.
My H has a brilliant, well paid job, my DC are privately educated, a beautiful house with large garden, I holiday a few times a year, eat in fine restaurants, have a job that I love, lots of friends.
Sounds great doesn't it!!!!
However I am about to lose it all through no fault of my own, as my H has left me for a woman he works with.
After 26 years together, he has thrown it all away.
Not everything is as it seems, don't be envious, be thankful for what you have got, especially if it is a man who loves you, takes care of you and in whom you can rely and trust.

Only time I ever feel envy that hurts (truly - in the solar plexus every time) is when someone says they're off skiing. Because it's something I love with a passion, but I don't have the money to indulge. I'm such a saddo, I have actually cried watching Ski Sunday before now. It feels like homesickness.

In many other respects, I think I have a very nice life.

I don't really envy anything material.

But I get teary when I see people with friends and family as I have none. When I was expecting dd I burst into tears in the John Lewis baby department because every other woman seemed to be there with her mother and I did feel very envious.

True about envy and jealousy. Everyone must feel a little envious about something sometimes - but experiencing gut-wrenching bitter jealousy is what does the harm.

Also, thinking about it, how I feel about others' good fortune depends on how they present it. I know someone who is so darn smug - their whole mode of speaking is like a round robin letter - that I can't help but have a curled lip whenever they brag about their wonderful life.

Like devastatedandhopeful I had it all,an h who I was more in love with every day, fantastic dc, lovely house, holidays etc. I'm sure that some of my friends were jealous of me, I was so happy.

Then out of the blue he left me to be with woman (girl) from work and my whole world has fallen apart and Im an empty shell that's full of sadness and anger.

count your blessings
I still count mine every day as there are
so many people in truely terrifying situations who would cut their right arm off to live with the luxuries that I have, eg a telly, central heating, good kids, a home etc.

It's ok to feel a bit jealous, I think most people do, but other people's lives are not usually as good as they might seem.

i feel very deep envy towards those who got tickets to Mumsnets birthday party. So much i can't post on their thread because i wouldn't be able to be nice.

after my first pg/ Before DD i felt very unpleasant and visceral envy owards mums, particular hatred to smoking pregnant mums, but general nasty feeling towars anyone with a baby. But that was wholly cured by having one! I think my sister probably hates me alot in the same way as I am now pg with dc3. but it can't be helped - that's just natural and nothing to feel additional guilt about.

i do sometimes feel envy about 'stuff' because it feels like i am going through so much of my life having to be very careful with money, and not being able to treat myself/the DCs along the way. It could be alot worse, i hasten to add. But i think i'm not going to look youngish forever, and it would be great to wear more nice clothes to nice places before it all heads south never to return....

I wouldnt' say I covet other people's stuff, but I do admire others' skills and abilities. I would love to be able to speak languages and sing or play a musical instrument well.

I tend to agree with pinksmarties - no point in envying that holiday in the Maldvies, if they had to never see their kids to pay for it... iyswim....

Yes, sometimes I feel like that.

My friend's dh organised a few days break for them over valentine's weekend with no kids. I was pleased for her because she was having a lovely break which she deserved, but we have no-one to have our dc overnight. I was a so but at the same time nice to see her have a break after she'd been working very hard and feeling unwell and run down.

pinksmarties I agree with your post, others might have more but they've either had hardship or they may have something to come, I think most of us feel envious from time to time.

Yes. I get envious. It's human nature. I also notice when my friends are envious of me. Sometimes they will try and put me down. Good friends will support me even if tehy feel envious. We all envy each other a little because the grass is always greener,
I think that counting one's blessings is the way foward.