DH deliberately trying to wreck my diet

[Enchilada81]

DH and I both want to lose weight. I have a stone and a half to lose. He has tried diets etc in the past but his will power is non existant and he never manages more than a day.

I on the other hand have been following the atkins diet and have lost around 6lbs so far.

On the surface, DH makes out that he's pleased for me and says I'm doing well. But then I get the snide comments such as:

"Don't know why you're sticking to that stupid diet"

"Its very bad for you, all that fat"

"It won't last, you'll give up sooner or later"

"You're not actually losing weight to be honest, it's just water"

"You'd lose weight on any diet, there's nothing special about what you're doing" etc etc it really annoys me. It's like he's sat on the edge of his seat waiting for me to fail.

But lately he's started trying to get me to fail. For instance he bought a bag of mini eggs for us to share. Keeps telling me to try the new crisps he's bought. Tells me to get a choccie bar from the cupboard because "one won't hurt" (which he knows full well, on this diet, one DOES hurt).
On a night time when I'm at my worst for cravings he'll say "I might pop out to the chinese/indian/pizza/chippie do you want anything bringing back?

Last night he said I'm ruining the upcoming weekend by sticking to my "ridiculous" diet and spoiling everything by not drinking alcohol and eating take-aways with him.

I think he's pissed off because I'm sticking to it when he couldn't. But why would someone that is supposed to care for you try and get you to fail on something so badly?

Last night he offered to make me a low carb hot chocolate. Secretely, he made it with milk which he knows I can't have.

Am I taking it all too seriously?

He sounds like he is being an arse. I know how hard it i sto stick to a diet and he really should be supporting you.

No what a horrible man. Why would he try and sabotage you? He's jealous. Of your success, willpower, and the new 'you' who in his eyes - everybody will want when you reach your goal. He may even be worried that your eyes will wander when you reach your goal and have gained more confidence.

You need to talk to him, and tell him little attempts at ruining this for you are only making you more determined to carry on, and suggest he finds a hobby other than being a twat

Hi, I did the Atkins diet some years ago. I lost tons of weight and it stayed off for ages. Your husband is clearly jealous of your success and feels it highlights his weak will. He probably enjoyed having you join him in his drinking and overeating and feels threatened by your ability to have a mind of your own. My then husband did the same. He would offer me a Mars bar at the end of the day "because you have been so good dieting all day". We eventually separated. He wanted me fat and unattractive so that I would not dare leave him. He was comfortable with me being unattractive and therefore more likely to put up with him and not complain. He had no thoughts for my health and wellbeing.
Sabotaging your diet is selfish of him. He does not have your best interests at heart. Remind him that it is unhealthy to be overweight and that all women feel sexier if they are slim and proud of their body. Tell him you will enjoy sex with him more if you feel slim and confident. That might help. Reassure him that he does not need to feel threatened by your dieting, that you are not hoping to attract other men or preparing to leave him. Tell him you want to be more attractive for him.

Very good luck - keep me posted with your weight loss.

Yes, his behaviour is unkind and selfish: people often want to sabotage other people's 'self-improvement' attempts because it makes them feel less bad about their own bad habits. And it's possible that he's afraid that if you get thin, you will start having sex with other men all of a sudden.

ON the other hand, restrictive diets are not good for you long-term - if at all (most dieters regain the weight, and repeated dieting is the main cause of obesity). The entire diet industry is a big fucking con and the Atkins diet can damage your kidneys. Being active is the best way to keep healthy, not dicking about with peculiar food taboos.

While it sounds like you've got an insecure hubby (who's trying to be a tiny bit controlling) - I thought you might enjoy a brief horror moment with the Feeders!
Yuk

its very common behaviour. Partners and family and friends of people who lose weight can have very mixed emotions about it. Its common enough that its something they specifically address with people who have weightloss surgery that it can put a huge strain on relationships.

Also be aware that someone who really knows (the head of metabolic medicine at CHaring Cros hospital) says the best way to put on weight is to go on a diet.

Having said that it is your choice to do it.

Grace I actually called him a feeder in my post, but thought it was a bit extreme and changed it to twat!

Agree he sounds awful. You could try some strategies though if you're on atkins like asking for Chicken chaat as a takeaway - when I did Atkins I ate loads of dry curries and lost loads of weight.

It's a terible attitude to live with from him though - not sure I could put up with him deliberately sabotaging my diet

He's scared, scared you'll be thin and he wont, scared others will find you attractive ad you mihgt not find him attractive anymore.

You need to talk to him about it now.

What an arse, stick your fingers in your ears and go la la la la la.... that'll be around his level, the child.

He IS scared, he IS insecure, sit him down and tell him to put a cake sock in it!

This sort of behaviour also happens when one person gives up drinking/smoking - other friends or family members who want to carry on drinking and smoking feel resentful, pressured and frightened so will often try to sabotage your efforts.
Can you sit and talk with him and agree that, if he will leave you alone, you won't nag him about what a weak-willed loser and lardarse he is?

He probably isn't doing it deliberately. Have a calm talk with him to get him to see your side of things.

Whenever I loose weight people around me try to get me to overeat again. I think it is because they don't like change and they think I will be different when I am thinner. It's a wierd phenomenon.