I am in such a dilemna and really NEED some advice. I am going mad thinking about this - literally.
In brief I moved abroad to my DH´s homeland when I was pg with DS1. I have since had DS2 9 months. Without exaggeration I have HATED living here since day one, I have tried to make the most of it, see the positives, make friends etc etc all this to no avail. I have now got to the point where my confidence has hit rock bottom, I rarely go out and I am probably depressed. All of this affects the way I treat DH and our children.
Anyway as a compromise we decided to buy a small flat back in the UK a sort of holiday home if you like, a place to go regularly and spend longer periods in the summer. The sale is progressing as I type and I am getting severe cold feet, I feel I am just kidding myself that having a place will make any difference when deep down I just want to go back permanently.
I am now thinking of pulling out (no easy task as we are almost at exchange of contracts) of going back on my own with the children and renting somewhere. I know this would create damage to my marriage and to the relationship between DH and our children but I just don´t know what else to do. Living here is affecting me so much, I just want to disappear.
Can anyone advise me I feel I am going to crack up.