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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I go back "home" just the children and me?

26 replies

bottombunk · 24/02/2010 14:16

I am in such a dilemna and really NEED some advice. I am going mad thinking about this - literally.

In brief I moved abroad to my DH´s homeland when I was pg with DS1. I have since had DS2 9 months. Without exaggeration I have HATED living here since day one, I have tried to make the most of it, see the positives, make friends etc etc all this to no avail. I have now got to the point where my confidence has hit rock bottom, I rarely go out and I am probably depressed. All of this affects the way I treat DH and our children.

Anyway as a compromise we decided to buy a small flat back in the UK a sort of holiday home if you like, a place to go regularly and spend longer periods in the summer. The sale is progressing as I type and I am getting severe cold feet, I feel I am just kidding myself that having a place will make any difference when deep down I just want to go back permanently.

I am now thinking of pulling out (no easy task as we are almost at exchange of contracts) of going back on my own with the children and renting somewhere. I know this would create damage to my marriage and to the relationship between DH and our children but I just don´t know what else to do. Living here is affecting me so much, I just want to disappear.

Can anyone advise me I feel I am going to crack up.

OP posts:
kissingfrogs · 27/02/2010 00:26

Bottombunk, I was once in a very, very similar situation to you where I just knew I had to return home - and so I did, on my own with a toddler & a baby.
One thing I do remember clearly is the tremendous feeling of relief to be HOME at long last. Believe me, the worst bit is where you are now, deperate to leave, desperately hoping it'll work out. Be courageous, listen to your instincts and make the move. x

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