How will I react when I meet OW on night out?

[Sunshine2]

Dh kissed colleague at drunken night out before christmas. I found out. He is very sorry. We have been to relate & hopefully sorted through this issue though it is still on my mind all the time. We had no marriage probs prior to this.

He is her boss & has stopped going for drinks after work as she is always out. He says he has limited all conversations to work issues only.

Anyway I am to go on work night out soon and she will be there. I am sure she will say something to me. Obviously I will want to punch her but want to act like I am not bothered by the incident. I am dreading it but know it is important for me to be seen by dh's side.

What will I say if she aproaches me?

"Personally, in your position, if she talked to me, I'd probably just blankly look at her for a few seconds, turn on my heels and walk away to find DH and grab his arse/give him a kiss in full view of the trollop."

No - don't do this!

You will look desperate and as if you give a shit. She will roll her eyes and think you're a bit, dare I say it, pathetic. Think Victoria Beckham clinging limpet-like to David, post-Loos. Not good.

Now, if your husband was grabbing and kissing you - that would send out a much better statement!

No, no. No kissing or arse grabbing from you or DH. Don't lower yourself to her level of drunken fumblings at a work's night out.

Polite, cool, disinterested.

MmeLindt is, of course, right.

Any attempts to send out any sort of message will be laughed at, pitied and seen right through by OW.

From experience, do not try hard. Do not smirk or tut or shake your head. Definitely do not grab anyone's arse.

Ignore her. Ignore her totally and completely. Quint has the right idea...her thoughts are probably the most effective answer. Apart from saying you weren't bothered imo.

Just don't care and have a good time - if you don't think it'll be fun, don't go. This isn't about her, and if it is, she will know and know you care iyswim.

How do you know she isn't embarrassed? Has anyone other than you husband told you how she is acting/what she's saying etc?

That's for all your suggestions- in my heart I would love to do some of the more daring ones.

I really don't what her to think I am worried about her in the slightest. I don't want her to believe she has affected our relationship at all. Hopefully dh will be extra attentive & I can act 'not bothered' I will plan something to say should she approach me. Just need to think of the words to say- obviously will have to acknowledge the kiss- she knows I was annoyed but make out dh was v drunk & it will never happen again as he has evaluated his behaviour as unacceptable.

Sunshine I can imagine how much you want to make an impression on her
but bottom line is, she doesn't need to know how you feel. Anything you say or try and do will just show her you care.

I would seriously just not go unless it was actually something I'd have gone to anyway, for me, iyswim, and really enjoyed...she must not be the focus here.

Can't believe you are making so much out of a single silly drunken kiss at a works party - going to relate no less! Agonising over what she thinks, assuming she will appraoch you - assuming she even remembers the incident.

I tried to post last night but MN went off inbetween me reading and typing the reply.

I would do nothing other than what you would normally do. Anything else will be construed as you being bothered by the kiss and while you should be you shouldn't let her see that. She is no friend to you and your husband needs a bollocking too.

If you are truly strong in your marriage you don't need to show it.

I don't think you need to worry - it was one drunken kiss and he told you about it. I suspect, of all three of you, he is likely to be the most embarrassed.

Do you think you could just rise above it and act as if nothing has happened?

Ignore her as much as you can. Laugh at her if you can. If she does try to talk to you about the incident imply that she is not important enough to be bothered about.

Good luck, I understand that it's going to be tough, but try and remember YOU ARE BETTER THAN HER!

I wouldn't be all touchy feely in front of her but I would ask your DH to be loving and attentive. If she comes to talk to you, I would ask her if she would like her husband present during her explanation and then ask her to respect you by leaving you alone. She will be jealous of your dignity... especially as she appears to be lacking in that department.
Oh... and I agree with those who say you should stay sober!

"I have no doubt if I hadn't found out about the kiss, things would have progressed."

Regarding the above I'd say your DH's behaviour is the key to 'portraying a united front', it is really down to him and how much he wants to prove his feelings for you. Does he?

I'd ignore OW as much as possible, but if you do end up in a group conversation be polite but disinterested. Don't eyeball her the whole evening or be scouting around to see where she is/isn't.

Hope it all goes as well as it can.

Nice, MrsGuy.