I'm confused and dont want to believe what my head is telling me

[IzzyK4]

I have been married for 8 years, together with DH for 12. Over the last year i have felt that we are more like friends than husband and wife. We discussed this, but then i realised that i dont fancy him anymore. (I obviously havent said this to him). I have really tried to look into his eyes and remember why i fell in love with him, but i dont see it anymore. I really feel like we have grown apart, in many ways.
Its breaking my heart, but i dont know what to do, i feel like i'm betraying him for feeling like this, but know that i cannot continue with things like this.

Has this ever happened to any one else?

You've been together for 12 years, well done! I haven't been with my OH for that long, but relationships go through phases don't they?
You fall in love you fall out of love, you fall in love again. It may take a while, or an effort, but to have got to 12 years sounds like a great achievement.
I'm sure someone from a longer relationship will be along with wise words.

Ah, this sounds familiar - same as XP and me after 11 years.

What I learned from it was that neither of us was putting in much effort to make the other one feel special, gorgeous and sexy - we had become complacent about our love and were now taking each other for granted - which, unless the situation is addressed, is the kiss of death when it comes to passion.

In the end, our attempts to reverse the situation were too little, too late and we (amicably) split up. BUT we weren't married, nor had any kids, so in some respects, didn't have the motivation to work things out.

Does this sound like you? If so, I think you and your DH need to take a serious look at how you treat each other and try making more of an effort, like you did in the early days. It could turn things round and re-ignite the spark.

IMO, love is like a hothouse flower - without constant nurturing it will start to wither.

HTH - good luck