Wanting someone you can't have

[Claire2009]

How do you get over it/that someone?

Aside from living with them for a year or shagging them senseless?

(1) Check you can't actually have them.
(2) Work out what's wrong with the situation you do have.
(3) Fix that
(4) Wait a year.

With difficulty. Are you/Did you have a relationship? I did with the person I can't have but I can't get over and I still am not over him despite every bone in my body telling me he's no good for me in the long term. My suggestion would be to cut all contact and time is a good healer. I hasten to say I've not practiced what I preach!

Why can't you have them?

(1) Can't have him
(2) Kids
(3) Can't fix that
(4) He'll be with someone else in a year?!

He has 2 kids, so do I, he wants to meet someone with no kids, admitted he jumped in feet first and didn't entirely think things through till the end of the 2nd week, whereas I thought things through before & during..

Not enough information I'm afraid.

Is it a colleague? Long term "platonic" friend? DH of a friend?

Answer depends on situation. In all cases avoid him somehow.

What's the problem with you having kids when he's got them too?

Oh hang on, is he still with someone else?

depends why you cant be together,before a meaningful answer can be given.your post makes no sense.why will he be with someone else in a year. and if he is with someone else means he doesn't care for you

So to be clear on this: you have started a relationship with someone entirely unsuitable because he doesn't want kids despite having them ???

Well yes, you can't have him, you should never date outside your species

No, he's single.
He has a grown up son, that won't have contact with him because he didn't bring him up, yet he's bringing his other child up. So he's a lot of guilt, and thinks if he was to be with someone with kids, that would f*&k things up even more.

Why does he want someone without kids?! Sounds like an excuse to me, if he really liked / loved you the kids wouldn't be an issue. He sounds like a prat, sorry.

do you like drama,why are you drawn to bad lad

I/We ended the relationship fri/last night. I didn't know his feelings about the children until fri night, thats what I mean, he didn't think about things enough, just jumped right in. But I now have feelings for him, that I want gone ..well I don't, I want him.

but isn't the point that he doesn't want to be with you? So really it is irrelevant what you want and you just need to move on.
Time helps.

Ah yeah, just love drama

CS, Exactly, he doesn't, which is why I need to get over him, that is my question, how!

time!
get on with what you were doing before.
umm - time?

Well, he wants what he wants, however odd it sounds - I can't see why you having kids would make him feel guilty. How long have you been seeing him?

If he's set on it and being honest, then you'd best move on, hard though it is.

But if he's procrastinating, and keeping you wondering, then maybe it's got to be you to cut the contact and be strong.

god sake.this is like adolescent school girl but i Lurvve him

grow up

you have kids.
he has no current interest in kids.
cant you see that causing consternation .conflict

maybe your ego is bashed and you feel lovesick.but mooooooooooooove on sister

Trust me, I wish there was a magical solution but time is really the only answer.

It's shit.

Chin up. Go dating and meet someone better new