Confused

[Claire2009]

Right, confused so excuse the way this post is going to go!

Met someone, via a friend, we got on great, chatted/flirted for 4mths, eventually gave each other our mob. number. He then came round, we chatted more, and have been together for just over 3wks now. I've been seeing him 2-3 times a week, he has 2 kids & so do I, that's never been a problem. Last weekend he accidentally met my dad, both turnt up at the same time, and he felt awkward, dad left, he was fine, but I saw bf last night & we've had a good chat....after 10-11 days bf said he wanted long-term/a relationship from this. Last night he says he doesn't see a long-term 'us' and it's up to me where we go from here, the night ended with me, agreeing to be 'just friends' nothing more, but now I've slept on it I don't know...I called him earlier and he's around soon for a chat again, I just want to clear things up, know whats what and then leave it at that. I was happy with the way things were going, then he says that? He actually said "Pity you've kids, could've seen us working out long-term else"

Why are my kids a problem? He has 2 who he sees regulary, he's good friends with his ex, I'm friends with her also and it's all good terms everywhere, then 3wks later he decides my kids are the problem? Wtf? He obviously was aware I had 2 kids from the start, and now it's a problem? Can someone shed some light on this for me please? I'm going to ask some more questions before I totally give up here

Tia.

I think he's got cold feet and is just making excuses. His comment is just a red herring, he simply changed his mind about wanting a relationship with you. Sorry.

You will meet someone who does want this, honestly.

Thanks, that's what I thought. Will have it out with him and move on.

He's just making excuses and the kids are a red herring, I agree.

He just isn't that into you, try not to take it personally or dwell on it too much. You don't need answers.

Don't bother 'having it out with him' what's the bloody point?

Just move on and don't let it get you down, it's his loss, not yours.

Yeah, I probably should just say fuckit and move on, but I'd rather chat to him first, try and get the truth anyway.

IME experience, of a male friend thats behaved in the same way recently, he met someone else.

I'd agree that its his loss, and would move on, you're probably not going to get 'the truth' and it won't make you feel any better if you do.

I think he is just making excuses and using your kids as the excuse which is pretty poor of him to do considering he also has 2 of his own.

I know a man who did exactly this to one of my friends - he too had his own kids but always used her friends as his excuse. When is came to it, he just didnt have the courage to tell her he wasn't that into her - his name isnt Chris is it?!

I would just move on from this now while you can - if you continue with it now you will end up hurt by him later on.

You will meet someone better than this who is not such a coward to use your children as his excuse.