Are you a good nurse?

[ItsGrimUpNorth]

Because I'm really not and I'm finding this is having a big effect on my relationship.

When I say I'm not, I mean I get everything done for the patient - dh who had minor surgery on his ankle bone and it's now slightly infected - in terms of food, drink, painkillers, antibiotics, runs to and waits in the hospital, badgering nurses (blush] to see him, making sure he doesn't have to deal with dcs too much, asking him how he feels. But I'm quite brisk and well, not very sympathetic in terms of cooing and stroking of forehead.

Is this so bad? I mean, I do get very annoyed with him after he ignores his various food intolerances that I try to cater for i.e. no wheat and other foods but by eating Chinese food and drinks beer every so often which means sets off allergies which means he gets bloated and belches half the night away or sometimes can't even breathe very well. I see this as totally self inflicted and as a result have zero sympathy for him.

We just had a big row and he ended up telling me I'm a cold, heartless bitch. I'm shocked. I don't fawn but I make sure he has everything he needs.

But I have arranged for him to have an Indian head massage tomorrow morning as a Valentine's gift.

Do you think it's important to be all touchy feely and loving when someone is ill? If it were me, I'd just want to be left to get on with it but happy to know food/drink/medicine was just a call downstairs away.

Ah..but we are women...we relish being left alone..Men are children and need nurturing when ill..apologise...it doesn't matter if you don't mean it...make him feel loved. He is lucky you didn't cancel tomorrow's appointment!!

Oh, I can't be arsed "nursing" a grown man

unless he is severely disabled/terminally ill, just get on with your on life and et him look after himself

honestly...some blokes are mollycoddled mummy's boys and women who run around after 'em need to get a grip

Erm I 'nurse' just like you.

DH never complains though??

That might be because if he doesn't like how I'm looking after him then he can look after himself!

No I'm not. And yes it causes tiffs.

But WHY does an adult have to immediately put on a woolly hat and get out a hot water bottle when they feel the slightest sniff?

I'm like you OP and make sure I take as many jobs/responsibilities away from someone who's under the weather.

I just can't quite bring myself to do the whole discussion of symptoms and 'oh that must be awful' and 'can I get you a lemsip'.

I think actions speak louder than words though.

Oh my ex used to fucking annoy the pants off me when he was sick. "I'm lonely!" etc etc. It was only a bloody cold, that we'd all had and got on with, but he had to take to his bed...oh, and he used to get me to phone in sick for him. Made me feel like his mother. Yuck.

I'm the one who gets man flu in this house. DH hates the fact that I fuss over him when he is ill and DD is the same - she'll tell me to stop fussing and she's only three. I on the other hand love being looked after.

I agree with LeninGrad,he needs to be a good patient.I had both dh and ds{15} with broken legs last year{at the same time},ds was a great patient but dh was bloody horrible,it was a nightmare any way with two patients but dh made it so much worse.

I make sure he's got everything he needs, tell him to get to bed, take tablets, eat (none of which he does... unless it's really bad.) Then I get frustrated with him moping and sighing and have to bite my tongue. I keep DD out of his way. But I don't pander to him often.

In fact a few years ago he cut his finger cooking, it was quite a bad cut so I wrapped it in a towel told him to put pressure on it and elevate it while I found a bandage/plaster.
I then realised we didn't have any left so I got him comfy sat in a chair and I went to the chemist to stock up the first aid kit. :D

In my defense DP is a terrible patient who goes into blind panic at the sight of blood, so I go to the opposite extreme and act ridiculously laid back to calm him down.

I can't stand men being unwell it seriously irritates me
have just told nm if he discovers another symptom NOT to mention it to me
it's a cold ffs
if I wanted another dc I'd get pregnant
I verge on the Shipman school of nursing as far as manflu is concerned

I AM a nurse by trade.
BUT
NO
Im not good with fil (who is a complete and utter fucking dickhead when he has a sniffle as is bil), im marginally kinder to dh but he is never ill and just gets on with it, when he is thank fucking god!

I argue with ds who insists every other day he should have the day off school due to illnes. He is 6, and i end up posing the very pertinent question "who here is medically qualified hmm?" i insist that there is nowt wrong with him, he insists on bieng off school.

I am however the very essence of kind, empathetic, caring and lovely to my patients at work, cos they are proper poorly bieng on intensive care and all that

lol at the Shipman school of nursing.