Falling apart at the seams....

[justsotired]

Yep - I think I've finally faced up to the fact that I am falling apart and I'm not sure that I can stop it now. H got home from work at 3pm and picked up DS at 4pm. I've had a week from hell at work and was up until 1am this morning preparing for a meeting which has just lasted all day. I got home at 6pm and he is playing on the Wii with DS. I asked whether they had eaten. No. I asked what H was planning to cook. H hadn't thought about it but thought I was cooking tonight. DS is 8 years old and has been at school all day with just a packed lunch. I've just cooked DS tea while H sits and watches television.

Ahhhhhh! I'm not sure that I can carry on like this. Please tell me I don't have to put up with this and that there are men out there who care for and support their families.

Bump... No advice just a lot of sympathy xx

Have you tried arranging a routine with DH so you are both clear on who is doing what. Some people are just rubbish at thinking/common sense.

Clearly not then! I should explain that he works part time - has refused to work full time since giving up his job in 2002 which forces me to as we have a mortgage to pay - gets angry when I need to buy clothes for work - gets angry with the DCs all the time - never does any DIY that needs doing without complaining bitterly and with me spending weeks nagging first - if I have something wrong with me, his symptoms are worse... God I sound like a right moaning minnie!

Thank you for letting me vent!

why don't you just make it his job to make all the weekday meals?

It sounds like a nightmare tbh

sorry - didn't think anyone had answered - bit new to this chat room stuff!

Without meaning to sound nasty, why are you still with him?

Habit ..... !

You work FT he works PT pfttt!!! Show him the door PDQ. Your life would be easier with just you and the DC's. He is a tosser.....

that sounds like all the worst bits of a marriage..are there any good bits??

sorry,but reading that made me glad i'm on my own!

he gets angry alot....always been like that?

Not surprised you are falling apart. Being a single parent is a far better place to be than living through the hell you are describing. He is well and truly taking the fckng piss.

This is what I think is fair when one person works FT & one PT:

The PT person does as much as they can chores-wise while the otehr person is at work.

In my case this means when I finish work I pick DS up from school, then as soon as I get home I do the laundry, ironing, wash up breakfast things, go shopping if necessary, prepare dinner, odd bits of housework, plus all the things DS needs doing - snacks, hearing reading books, finding stray lego bits, doing playdough, etc etc

This means by the time H gets home from work all that needs doing is washing up & putting DS to bed.

The most H has to do is the odd bit of housework at weekends, mow the lawn & put the bins out.

So, if you are working FT, that is all you should be doing.

If he can;t manage it, tell him to get out there and find a FT job.

If he works PT, and I assume someone has to because you ds has to be collected from school, then he should be doing the majority share of the chores. That would be true of anyone in a household where one worked FT and the other PT.

He is leading the life of Reilly, working PT, collecting ds then sitting watching TV adn playing games while you have the financial burden of paying most of bills and then doing all the housework after working all day.

No, no, no this is not how it should be. Tell him to pull his socks up or get a FT job so you can go PT and have time to do everything too.

Don't make him his dinner if that's how he behaves, make it for ds and yourself tell him to make his own.