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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

2 weeks on, very difficult but...

3 replies

happysadconfused · 11/02/2010 14:50

...I'm doing it, and I'm doing ok, most of the time.
A few of you may remember my thread a couple of weeks ago, questioning wether I was doing the right thing. Someone mentioned in that thread that the doubts will come in waves, and that is so true.
Have sorted child tax and CB, and waiting to hear about income support. Had a phonecall from them this morning actually, asking if I was on the mortgage, and they're sending out another form...I'm hoping this won't affect my income support claim.
He's been angry, accepting, confused....all understandable, I have been too. Now he's telling me he still loves me, and he's lost me and little one and will also lose his home.
He wants to talk at some point so I can explain to him the reasons why I've ended it.
My problem is this, the main reason it's got to this stage is because I can't talk to him properly, from the heart. Whenever I try, it never turns out how I meant it too. I feel intimidated by him to be honest, and don't feel confident enough to tell him that! Even now. I don't know if it's because I'm scared of his reaction, or scared of hurting him. He's talks a better talk than me, he always has. But with all said and done I think I owe him an explaination, even if it's just to have a better relationship between us as parents of our son. I rang relate last night. Then rang him to suggest it. He immediately said no, why couldn't I just tell him. If I could I would, but I just immediately feel under pressure when I try (or even think about trying) and things get muddled in my head. Do you ladies think going to relate would be a good idea?
Still fell very guilty and sad about everything, him and lo. But I don't miss him, that's gotta be a sign!
This is the most difficult thing I've ever experienced.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 11/02/2010 15:06

i think using relate or any third party to explain why is a good idea - if just you two together it could descend into argument or him taking the lead/controlling.

then again how much explanation do you really owe? is it him asking for one?

the relationship is over, end of. you want to work to become good co-parents. that you can work on if he willing.

mathanxiety · 11/02/2010 15:29

So, he wants you to tell him what ended the relationship BUT he wants this to happen HIS way, not your way....

You could write a list, with the reasons listed in bullet form, and send it to him. You are under no obligation to put yourself in a situation where you are uncomfortable and feeling under pressure, tongue-tied, inarticulate or unable to express yourself because of fear or nerves or hurting him. So I would recommend a simple list if you choose this option, and include his unreasonable demand that you tell him face to face why you left down near the bottom.

I think your idea to get it all out in Relate is a good one, because you would have a counsellor there to direct and referee the meeting, and give you a feeling of security. Your ex seems sadly unaware of how his demeanour affects you if he thinks shooting down a very reasonable and sensible suggestion without so much as a minute's reflection, and insisting on having this out on his terms is OK.

If you ever have doubts about whether you've done the right thing, try to remember this telling little incident you have described -- he is apparently sad that he has lost his partner, his child and soon his house too, yet he continues to want things his way. He is still trying to bully you even though bullying has resulted in him losing everything he says he holds dear.

Some of this recent communication of his is a pathetic and very poorly executed attempt to get you back so he won't lose the house for the immediate future, imo. He is also getting used to his new circumstances as you observe, and no doubt he is missing things like meals and laundry, and having someone to play mind games with, plus all that undiluted and unconditional affection from your LO of course he feels sorry for himself, and he will try to get all that back. You have stood up to him and he is trying to undermine your resolve with his demand for an explanation this is a knee-jerk response from him. He just wants a chance to see you face to face and intimidate you or put on some act that will tug at your heart-strings (Valentines Day is coming up, after all...) -- either way he wants things back as they were, on his terms.

It's a terrific sign that you don't miss him, and I believe the more time elapses the less you'll feel guilty too, especially as you see a change coming about in your LO as he begins to feel more secure. Hold your ground on the Relate issue, or write him a brief letter. Include in your remarks that your decision is final, and hopefully he will get the message.

registered · 11/02/2010 19:28

I agree, i dont think you owe him anything.

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